100 Positive-Thinking Exercises
100 Positive-Thinking Exercises That Will Make Any Patient Healthier & Happier
Published on Tuesday August 19th , 2008
Sometimes even the best medicine and healthcare is not enough for a full recovery. For patients struggling with illness or dealing with a major life change, these positive thinking exercises can mean all the difference. Here are 100 that we've compiled to help you channel your negative or angry thoughts into a happier and more productive positive outlook.
General
Practice these simple exercises and suggestions to keep your thoughts on the positive side.
1.. Only use positive words when talking. If you're constantly telling yourself "I can't" you may convince yourself that's the truth. Replace these negative words with positive ones instead. Tell yourself you will do your best or that you will try your hardest instead.
2.. Push out all feelings that aren't positive. Don't let negative thoughts and feelings overwhelm you when you're feeling down. Even if it's only for a few hours a day, push your negativity aside and only focus on the good things in your life.
3.. Use words that evoke strength and success. Try filling your thoughts with words that make you feel strong, happy and in control of your life. Make a concentrated effort to focus on these words rather than those that make you feel like you are failing or incompetent.
4.. Practice positive affirmation. One of the most popular positive thinking exercises is positive affirmation. This means you repeat a positive phrase to yourself on a regular basis like "I deserve to be happy" or "I am worthy of love". Believing that these things are true, and reminding yourself of it can help give you a more positive outlook on life.
5.. Direct your thoughts. This technique, used by psychotherapists, can help you to control your thoughts when you start to feel down or anxious. Create a happy thought, a positive image, or give yourself positive feedback to keep bad feelings in check.
6.. Believe you will succeed. There is nothing like believing in yourself to create a successful reality. Give yourself the benefit of the doubt and believe that you will succeed at fulfilling your goals.
7.. Analyze what went wrong. Thinking positively doesn't mean denying that there is anything wrong. Instead, give yourself some time to think about the things that led up to your current situation so you can avoid future mistakes and look toward a more positive tomorrow.
8.. Give yourself credit. Often when we feel frustrated or upset we only concentrate on the bad things or the mistakes we've made instead of giving ourselves credit for what we do right. Allow yourself to feel confident about the things you have accomplished, even if you've messed up in other areas.
9.. Forgive yourself. Constantly beating yourself up about things that have gone wrong won't change them. Tell yourself that you're forgiven for your mistakes and allow yourself to move on.
10.. Learn from the past. The past is behind you and no matter how badly things went there is nothing you can do to change them. Whenever you feel negative thoughts about the past come up, replace them with positive thoughts about the future.
11.. Remember things could be worse. No matter how bad things get remember that they could be worse and be grateful for all the good things that are in your life, even when it seems there's more bad than good.
12.. Think of it as an opportunity. Sometimes even the seemingly negative things in our lives present us with opportunities we wouldn't have been strong enough to pursue otherwise. Maybe losing your job is just the chance you need to start your own business or go back to school.
13.. Come up with ideas of how to turn negative thoughts into positive ones. If you find yourself thinking you should have done this or that differently, try changing your thoughts around. Instead give yourself credit for what you did do, remember that you are not perfect or that you can do better next time.
14.. Work on visualization. Picturing what you want to accomplish or the person you'd like to be can be a great motivator to getting you there and helping you feel more positive about the distance you have to go yet.
15.. Think of ways to turn visualization into action. The next natural step of this is to think of just how you're going to get to where you see yourself. Just picturing it isn't going to make it happen, so create a plan to take it one step at a time until you've made it.
16.. Practice self-hypnosis. Self-hypnosis brings about a highly conscious state of mind that is willing to follow instructions. This means you'll be more open to positive suggestions that will allow you to be happier and hopefully healthier in your life.
17.. List the reasons you will get what you want. If you are having trouble believing that you'll get that big promotion or that your book will get published try sitting down and coming up with a list of reasons that you will get what you want rather than focusing on the reasons you might not.
At Work
Work can be a stressful place but use these techniques and ideas to keep yourself looking on the bright side.
18.. Be constructive. Giving yourself cruel and unwarranted criticisms will not only put you in a bad mood it surely won't help you improve either. Be constructive in your criticisms of yourself so you can grow and learn.
19.. Visualize a successful outcome. Sometimes it can be helpful to picture yourself completing a project successfully or getting the promotion you desire. This can encourage you and make you feel better about the situation.
20.. Sit up straight. Slouching down in your chair isn't going to make you feel any better about anything that's bothering you. Sit up straight in your chair and see if it improves your thinking.
21.. Surround yourself with positive images. Make your desk your own private happy getaway. Put up pictures of things that make you happy or that remind you of your goals to create a calming and positive environment.
22.. Relax and let things happen. Sometimes the best way to deal with problems is to relax and let them take their course. Things can often appear to be a bigger deal than they really are and reminding yourself of this can help you to relax and not feel so stressed.
23.. See it from another point of view. Change your pattern of thought by trying to see things from another point of view, whether it's your coworkers, your bosses or just someone impartial. It can help you see where you went wrong and understand why others might be upset.
24.. Keep track of your thoughts.When you catch yourself thinking negative thoughts, try jotting them down. You may find a pattern and figure out some ways to reverse how you're seeing yourself or negative situations.
25.. Don't dwell. So you made a mistake. It happens to everyone. Don't dwell on your mistakes. Make peace with yourself and move on to other projects.
26.. Stop being your own worst critic. There's no one else who knows just how to make you feel terrible like you can. Lay off on the harsh criticism and think good things about yourself when you feel you're at your worst.
27.. Look at yourself rationally. It's easy to get down on yourself for messing up at work, even on the little things. But try taking a step back and looking at the situation. You may find that what you thought was a big deal really doesn't matter that much.
28.. Believe in yourself. Want that promotion? Hoping to get that huge account? Believe that you can do it and it just might come true.
29.. Avoid negative coworkers. Nothing can ruin a positive attitude like coworkers who bring out the negatives in everything. Avoid talking to those you know will only make you feel worse.
30.. Truly believe you are the best at your job. If you're constantly looking for failures in your work and put on a sour attitude you're much more likely to actually be putting in a poor performance. If you think that you're good at your job you're much more likely to put in the effort and performance that will make you good.
31.. Look for opportunity. In every failure there's an opportunity to improve. Spend time thinking of ways you can turn your setbacks at work into ways you can get ahead in the future.
Family and Personal Life
Whether you're struggling with keeping a positive attitude about yourself or about issues within your family, try these positive thinking techniques.
32.. Associate yourself with those who think positively. Positivity is contagious, so find friends and family members who look on the bright side to surround yourself with.
33.. Be glad your life isn't boring. If nothing good or bad ever happened to you, likely you'd start to get pretty bored with your life. Take everything that is coming to you as a challenge and a way to keep yourself busy and interested in your life.
34.. Look at the big picture. Is that parking ticket you got a bummer? Of course. Will you still feel bad about it later this week? This month? Learn to let go of the things that don't really matter.
35.. Let go of the past. It does not determine your future so why focus on it? If you feel yourself ruminating on the past make a conscious effort to take your thoughts in another direction.
36.. Benefit from the attitudes of others. Have a friend that always knows just what to say to make you feel like things will be alright? Take comfort in those around you that have positive attitudes and can make you feel better about anything going on in your life.
37.. Develop a personal mantra. No matter what you choose to repeat to yourself, make your mantra words you want to live by each and every day that can remind you to be positive and take whatever life has to offer.
38.. Find someone to share with. Knowing you are not alone can be a healing experience. Share your negative feelings with a friend, a family member or a even a mental health professional. You'll likely feel better after you've gotten things off your chest and had someone to sound off with.
39.. Do something nice. Want to feel better? Try doing something nice for someone you care about. You'll get to feel good for being nice and you just might make someone else's day.
40.. Indulge yourself. One way to remind yourself of the positive things that life has to offer is to indulge yourself in whatever it is you love. Whether it's a box of chocolates, a massage or a new video game, give yourself a break to relax.
41.. Remind yourself of your blessings. Whether you feel blessed by your family, your friends or even that you just have food to eat each day remind yourself of these things, however small you may feel they may be.
42.. Say thank you. Most of us have a lot to feel grateful for that we simply take for granted. Thank those in your life that make it better and happier to get a positivity boost for yourself as well.
43.. Come up with positive things about those you love. Making someone else feel good about themselves can strengthen relationships and give you a positive thought to concentrate on, instead of the negative.
44.. Avoid laying blame. So the water bill didn't get paid. You could get mad and start a fight with your spouse or roommate. Or, you could let it go, take it in stride and work together to remedy the situation.
45.. Be playful. There's nothing to lift your mood and change your thinking like taking some time to embrace playfulness and your inner child.
Fun and Relaxation
Don't spend your free time feeling bad about things that have happened. Change your thoughts from the bad to the good with these helpful tips.
46.. Read an inspiring book. If you're having trouble finding something inspiring about your life right now try getting inspired by the life of someone else by reading a book meant to inspire and uplift.
47.. Watch your favorite sappy movie. Get a quick pick me up by watching your favorite movie or just your favorite scenes. You'll get a smile or a laugh and forget whatever was getting you down.
48.. Take a break from the news. The news is often filled with all kinds of depressing information. If you're already in a bad mood take a night off from the news and do something that you find enjoyable instead.
49.. Engage in physical activity. Working out releases chemicals that give you a mood lift. Take a jog, play a sport or just walk around the block to improve your outlook.
50.. Listen to something upbeat. Music can be a great mood enhancer. Whether you're driving in your car or hanging out at home, crank up the tunes with something that makes you feel happy.
51.. Monitor your stream of consciousness.When you're just sitting and thinking do negative thoughts overtake everything else? Monitor where your mind goes when it's at rest and learn to redirect your thoughts towards happier memories.
52.. Engage in activities that work towards your goals. If you're trying to lose weight don't spend the weekend baking cookies that will only tempt you towards falling off the low-cal wagon. Instead, pump yourself up by going on a hike, playing tennis with a friend or just getting active.
53.. Concentrate on breathing. When things just seem to be too much to deal with, try concentrating on simply breathing. It will relax you, eliminate some of your anxiety and allow you to focus on more positive elements in your life.
54.. Focus on all the fun in your life. While you might spend 40 hours a week slaving away behind a desk you likely have some things in your life that are fun and enjoyable as well. Focus on these things and spend time thinking of new and exciting ways to have fun when you're feeling down.
55.. Explore the world around you. Distract yourself from your negative feelings by embracing your sense of adventure. Check out a part of town you have never been to, take a day trip to a local winery, or just spend time reliving the happy memories from things around your house.
56.. Get excited. Even if there are a million things you're dreading doing come Monday try to find one thing that you're excited about. Even that one thing can have a big impact on how you feel and how you approach your day.
57.. Find something to laugh about. If you don't have anything in your day that's been particularly funny, think about a memory that never fails to make you laugh. It's hard to be negative when you're laughing and smiling.
58.. Count down to total relaxation. All of us have been so upset or frustrated at some point that we just feel like we want to explode. If you feel yourself reaching this point, stop, and start counting. For an additional bonus, try relaxing each body part in turn as you count so you end up completely relaxed and ready to think logically.
59.. Meditate. The benefits of meditation are many, and one of them can be encouraging positive thinking. By clearing your mind and relaxing you can push out a large amount of negativity that may be troubling you.
60.. Think of 100 things you enjoy doing. Feeling like your life is one big, horrible sinkhole at the moment? Sit yourself down and try to come up with a list of things that you enjoy doing. Even small things like taking a hot shower or enjoying a walk in the snow can make you realize that your life isn't so bad after all.
61.. Create something. Negativity inspires a lot of destructive feelings and one way to counter that is by working to create something instead. Paint or draw, sew some new curtains, build a model or even put together a puzzle.
62.. Imagine yourself in a happy place. Visualization can be a powerful tool and you can use it to remove yourself from whatever situation you feel unhappy in to one that makes you smile. Just close your eyes and imagine whatever makes you feel best.
Facing Challenges
Everyone has to face challenges in their lives from time to time. Whether they're difficult personal goals to meet or unexpected problems these tips can help you make it through with a smile on your face.
63.. Fake it till you make it. One way to deal with a challenge is to create a feeling of confidence and happiness in yourself. At first this feeling might not be real, but over time you'll start to actually feel happier and maybe even closer to your goal.
64.. Believe you will get well. Those facing illnesses can feel a sense of hopelessness and fear. These feelings aren't going to help anything. Concentrate on getting better and living each moment as if you will soon be well.
65.. Understand the obstacles are there to challenge you. Along your path to success you're going to encounter some roadblocks. Understand that these aren't necessarily there to stop you from doing what you want, just to ensure that you truly want it.
66.. Picture yourself at the weight you want to be. Losing weight can be a huge challenge, even for the most determined. Picturing yourself at the weight you want to be can be a great motivator to getting you on the track to success.
67.. Start small. Working at a huge goal all at once can be overwhelming and sometimes discouraging. Take things one step at a time and chip away at your ultimate goal until you get there.
68.. Don't let yourself quit. Giving up is usually taking the easy way out of a situation. No matter how negative you're feeling, never let yourself quit pursuing something you truly want. You'll thank yourself in the long run if you don't give up.
69.. Don't expect change to be easy. No one ever promised that making a big change in your life would be easy or that overcoming obstacles would be a walk in the park. It's not supposed to be. Don't let opposition let you lose your confidence and adapt a negative attitude.
70.. Find the bright side. Every cloud has a silver lining and you just need to find yours. Try finding the bright spot amidst all the turmoil surrounding a situation and focus on that to get you through.
71.. Understand that the situation is not forever. Even if you're dealing with the grief of a lost loved one, remember that in time you will feel better. You may always feel sad about a loss, but it will only get easier as time goes on. Take it day by day and keep in mind the transience of any bad situation.
72.. Truly believe you will succeed. If you want an extra edge on success, believe that you will be successful. This may give you the confidence and assurance you need to make the difference.
73.. Face up to change. The world is constantly changing and you and those around you are changing as well. Make peace with these changes and understand they don't always mean the end of happiness just because they're something different.
74.. Make a conscious decision to be resilient.In life you can either let a challenge break you down and make you see the world in a negative light or you can draw on strength you didn't even known you had and rise above it. Choose the latter-- it's never too late.
75.. Take it head on. Sometimes the best way to deal with negative things in your life is to take them head on. Reaching a resolution or at least working towards one will likely make you feel better about just about any situation.
76.. Focus on finding a solution. Don't wallow in your problems. Instead, work towards finding a solution and getting them resolved. You'll be able to feel proactive and feel in control of your life.
77.. Don't let loss stop you. When pursuing any goal there are bound to be setbacks along the way. Don't let these stop you from heading towards your ultimate goal.
78.. Keep yourself on track. It's easy to be weak and get off track to whatever goal you're pursuing because it's easier right now. Don't let weakness get the best of you-- you'll only feel worse later. Provide yourself with reminders to stay in a positive mind set and stay with the program.
Daily Attitude
If you really want to change your outlook on life, try using these techniques to change how you deal with problems and see the world.
79.. See the beauty in everything. Even if you're in the worst mood, taking the time to look at all the beautiful things that surround you in the world can provide an instant and insightful way to lift your spirits.
80.. Realize that your thoughts do not own you. Stop your negative thoughts in their tracks by realizing that you're in charge of what you think, not the other way around.
81.. Take time to figure out what you really want. When you feel yourself feeling negative about things that you haven't accomplished, take time to think if you really want those things. Finding out what is really important to you can help eliminate bad feelings over things that you don't truly want.
82.. Accept the good things. Sometimes we get so caught up in the bad stuff coming our way that we forget to appreciate the good things. Take a minute to sit down and think of all the positive things that happened in your day, no matter how small.
83.. Get excited about all the possibilities that lay ahead. Even in the midst of the biggest disasters there are a multitude of possibilities that await you to make changes or take on the world tomorrow.
84.. Believe the world is a good place. If you look at the world and only seem doom and gloom laid out in front of you you're not doing yourself any favors. Believe the world is a good place and you're likely to find many more ways good things can come your way.
85.. Stop making excuses. There are always a million excuses for any person not to do something even if that something can make them feel happier. Stop putting up obstacles to your happiness and ditch those lame excuses when you hear yourself making them.
86.. Don't play the victim. Bad things happen to everyone from time to time. Pitying yourself and wanting others to feel sorry for you isn't going to make things better. Pick yourself up and start working towards a happier future.
87.. Don't place your future in someone else's hands. Your future is yours alone to shape. Remember this and take control of where you're going in life.
88.. Create realistic goals. Of course you're going to feel frustrated if you make your goals so unattainable that you can't reach them no matter how hard you work. Create smaller or more realistic goals so you can feel accomplished instead of defeated each day.
89.. Choose joy. Every day when you wake up you make the choice whether to be happy or miserable. Make the choice to be happy and you'll live a much more joyful life.
90.. Believe you can change. Everyone has qualities they don't like about themselves and that sometimes make them feel bad about themselves. Believe you can change these things and you'll start to see little ways that you can.
91.. Start immediately. Want to make a positive change in your life? Do it now. Putting it off just gives you time to make excuses so get started as soon as possible.
92.. Believe you deserve good things. If you don't truly believe that you deserve good things in your life you likely aren't going to encounter many. Believe that you are worthy for good fortune to come your way and it just might.
93.. Stop letting negative thoughts control you. Negativity can be an overwhelming emotion, one that can make you feel out of control and unhappy in every aspect of your life. Put a stopper on these negative thoughts and take control of how you're feeling.
94.. Smile. Sometimes all it takes to feel good is to put a smile on your face. Practice putting on a happy face even when you just feel so-so.
95.. Take control of your decisions. You're the boss of what is going on in your life, even when you feel like you don't have a choice. Take back control of your decisions and make the choice to be happier and more positive.
96.. Change your vibe. Some people think that you get back what you put out, so stop putting out bad energy and change to a more positive outlook. Whether it truly works or not doesn't matter, you'll feel better either way.
97.. Keep the bad out. You're in control of the good and bad you choose to let into your life. When you can, limit the amount of negative things you let into your life, including your thoughts.
98.. Make positive thinking a habit. Don't just practice thinking positively when you're feeling down. Make it an everyday occurrence whether you're in a good mood or bad.
99.. Decide why you want what you want. If you're feeling upset because you feel like you aren't achieving the things you want in life, take a moment to sit back and figure out the reasons you actually want those things. You may find you're not as attached to them as you think.
100.. Look at things with fresh eyes. Sometimes the best thing you can do is to sleep on a problem so you can look at it the next day when you're not feeling so emotional.
Sunday, July 10, 2011
Thursday, July 07, 2011
I Hope To Be A Happy Person
I'm wondering how I can be a happy and joyful person. What's the difference between happiness and joy? Are they interrelated? I'm really confused. Some people even said that if I think I'm happy then I'll be a happy person. However if I think that I'm said then I'll be a sad and miserable person. My pastor once told me that by the Lord's power I can be happy. I think this is true. I should ask the Lord to give me happiness and joy. Sometimes when people make me laugh then I'll be happy. I will try my best to be a happy person. If I'm happy, you are happy. If both of us are happy, everyone else is happy. If everyone is happy, the whole world will be happy and have peace. To me, happiness means living without misery and sadness. So from today onwards, please be a happy person. God bless.
Friday, July 01, 2011
100 Ways You Can Start Loving Yourself Right Now
100 Ways You Can Start Loving Yourself Right Now
100 Ways You Can Start Loving Yourself Right Now
[ 14 February 2010 ]
Photo by the amazing Danielle Dynomite!
Radical Self Love is a big topic. Kind of daunting, actually. If you want to delve into it, where do you begin? Here are some ideas. To you from me, Pinky Lee!
Make lists of reasons why you love yourself…
& write down (or keep mental lists) of the compliments other people give you. We’re so quick to believe people when they say nasty, unkind or “brutally honest” (ahem, cruel) things to or about us, & we discard all the times we’re told how amazing, beautiful or intelligent we are. Usually this is because our sense of self-doubt is stronger than our self-love. If you can build up the love side of things, this will begin to change.
Reach out to others…
....& do it regularly. When we don’t talk to people about how we’re feeling, or don’t have anyone to bounce ideas around with, it can be easy to feel lost, confused & out of touch. It also makes it easier for depression & sadness to nibble at our toes. Being reminded that the world is bigger than our bubble can inspire & uplift us.
Think of a way you could make your life easier — then do it.
This could be anything from hiring an assistant to buying a better computer or just learning to say “no” more often. Whatever it is, make it a priority. Do some research on how to make it happen, & then get going!
Change the way you think about food.
So many of us get trapped into thinking that food is “good” or “bad” & there is no in-between. Associating a word like “good” or “bad” with a type of food doesn’t help us, it doesn’t mean anything, it just makes us feel guilty or like we should be “doing better”. What has helped me is to think of food as pure fuel for my body, & considering how it will make me feel or how much energy it will give me. I know that my body (& my brain) work better when I feed myself with fresh raw vegetables & lots of water & fruit, & that I feel sluggish & useless when I eat heaping forkfuls of pasta. If you can think about food that way, there’s less guilt, & you feel more informed & aware.
Stretch in the mornings.
It gets the blood moving, it fires up your brain & it gives you a few moments to just be still & grounded before the day begins.
Really listen to people when they are speaking.
Look at them, make eye contact & be present. They’ll feel good that you care enough to properly engage them, & you’ll feel great in return.
Have media black-out days.
The concept of doing this terrifies me but I know it needs to happen. Stay away from your computer, phone & television for an entire day. Those of us are who technology addicts will FREAK out at this idea but that’s an even bigger sign that we should try it. So many of us use technology to distract ourselves & keep our minds busy, when we would be far better served by just sitting still & learning to be comfortable alone.
Have that “awkward” conversation.
You’ve been holding it in too long. Bite the bullet, take a deep breath, & tell the truth. Be gentle but honest. No one can predict how they’ll react, but it doesn’t really matter. The time has come. Say it, & move on.
Read through the results when you search Tumblr for “love yourself”...
& be proud at the way this generation — YOUR GENERATION — is shaping up. You are part of this. This is your movement.
Ask for help.
Whatever you’re going through, someone else has been through before, & come out the other side. You don’t need to reinvent the wheel — don’t be afraid to ask someone for advice or help. It could make a huge difference.
Know that you are good enough ALL THE TIME.
Yes, you are.
Find a mantra & hold it close.
My new favourite is courtesy of Emily. Om Namah Shivaya, roughly translated, means “Greetings to She Who I am Becoming” &/or “With great respect, I honor my heart”. So beautiful!
Print out Sark’s picture & stick it in your Radical Self Love Bible.
No further explanation needed!
Do your very, very best to stop judging people.
Wayne Dyer said, “When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself.” Those critical voices inside of you get a great work-out when you let them loose on someone else, & it’s like training for the grand event — that of judging yourself. If you don’t exercise those voices, they’ll eventually disappear altogether, making you a much happier person.
Explore your sexuality.
If you don’t know a lot about what makes you tick, decide that it’s time to FIND OUT! Then, once you know, COMMUNICATE IT! Don’t be afraid to tell your lover what you really want, what you wish they’d do or make suggestions. If they’re threatened by the fact that you are in tune with your sexuality, THEY’RE NOT WORTH IT! As Jay-Z would say, “On to the next one!“ Unlocking your real desires is powerful & potent & important. Don’t downplay it & don’t accept anything less.
Express love in as many ways as you can.
Tell your friends you ADORE them, say thank you & mean it, flash your biggest & most sincere smile at strangers on the street, hug people for longer than normal. The more love you give out, the more it builds inside of you & the more you’ll get back — I pinky promise.
Wear sequins.
They’re a wonderful mood booster. If you’re too conservative to wear them, buy sequinned knickers & wear them secretly!
Take a bubblebath wearing a tiara.
Embrace the unknown.
Not everything needs to be planned to the last minute detail! Mystery is wonderful & invigorating. It is the zest of life.
Clean out your closet.
In addition to getting rid of old junk, cleaning out closets or cupboards is therapeutic because at the same time, you’re clearing space in your life for new, better things.
Increase the amount of spinach you eat.
It’s like a miracle food. It’s so good for you & makes you feel amazing! Throw it in a smoothie (you won’t even taste it), use it as the base instead of lettuce in a salad or just snack on baby spinach fresh out of the bag. Yum!
Forget about your “to do” list & just BE.
That’s when you’ll have the most fun, make the best breakthroughs & experience the most amazing adventures. Life is much more exciting & wonderful when you throw caution to the wind & do something ridiculous.
Make a little extra effort every day.
Your definition of “effort” could be wearing a bow on your head, brightly coloured socks or even just taking the time to sit down with a book every night before bed. Just pick something that you know will make you feel good, & then do it.
Listen to new types of music & dance!
Country? Bollywood? Rap? Seek it out & enjoy it with your whole body.
Treat yourself to new knickers.
It’s almost a sure-fire way of feeling sexier & more delighted. Getting 5 pairs of cute knickers for $25 at Victoria’s Secret is one of the great joys in life, I think!
Change your alarm clock to something which makes you smile.
For a long time, I had Flight Of The Conchords’ Foux De Fa Fa as my wake-up call. It was a wonderful way to wake up. “...Boeuf!”
Be good to your body.
You probably know what that means for you. So what are you waiting for?
Know that you deserve love…
From yourself & from everyone else.
Throw away your scales.
Or, if they were expensive & maybe something you need around, hide them. Put them in the back of your closet, into storage or inside a suitcase. Just don’t look at them. I haven’t weighed myself since 2006 & it hasn’t impacted my life negatively at all — in fact, I feel more free than ever. I don’t care how much I weigh, I just go by how I feel & how my clothing fits. You might like to give it a shot!
Be vibrant & colourful.
If not in dress, then in word & deed. The world has enough grey! Be the antidote!
Do something you’ve been afraid to do.
@ifyouneedtime tweeted, “Happy Valentine’s Day to me: 10 canvases, new acrylics, and texture building mix for the paint! 5+ yrs since I’ve painted. #radicalselflove” It’s never too late to do what you really want to do. Don’t let other people’s opinions or fear or criticism stop you from being as wonderful as you can be.
Read self hatred: beneath sugar-coated criticism + self improvement.
Self-criticism is not “love”, and it is certainly not indifferent. It’s a form of hatred. And when I name that, when I see it for what it is (raw and uncomfortable and saddening…) when I refuse to sugar-coat self criticism, judgment, agitation, and constantly trying to improve myself, then I’m one quantum leap closer to freedom. Out of the swamp. Grounded in love…
Start thinking of Valentine’s Day as a day for YOU.
A day to bask in the brilliance of you. A day to celebrate making it this far. A day to totally GET OFF on how rad you are. Treat yourself, luxuriate, have a bath which leaves you soft & wrinkly. Have a long nap & dream. Own it, make it yours. Then do the same next year, & the next, & the next…
Recognise that you are a miracle.
Eat dark chocolate.
As @kitty_polaca would say, FEED YOUR CURVES! Plus, dark chocolate is one of the healthiest foods you can eat! Truth!
Stop worrying about other people’s opinions.
It doesn’t matter whether it is the opinion of a stranger or your husband, sometimes we let what other people think determine how we live our life… & it’s ridiculous. Ultimately, their thoughts on what we do & how we do it are irrelevant — all that matters is that it sits well with you.
Nourish yourself.
Get still & listen to what your body is telling you it really needs.
Play the drums.
If you don’t have a drum-kit (& few of us do) or know of a drumming circle near you, chopsticks & a couple of boxes will totally do the trick! Shut the door, close your eyes, & start drumming. It makes for great therapy.
Find amazing new icons & role models.
Read up & get inspired to live your life out loud.
Get more sunshine.
It really will make you feel so good. In addition to strengthening your immune system, muscles & bones, Vitamin D also stimulates the pineal gland, which is the part of the brain responsible for producing happy feelings. Yum!
Stop trying to “fit in”.
It’s just conformity, which is the most boring thing ever! So WHAT if people stare at you? So WHAT if some people don’t get it? IT DOESN’T MATTER! Do your damn thing & be proud!
Recognise that life is only ever what you make it.
So why not make it magical, wonderful, beautiful & strange?
Get out everything that you’ve been holding onto.
Record it to your voicemail, draw it, write it down, just get it out of you somehow. Then destroy it, & let it go.
Write a letter to yourself as a child.
This can be an amazing exercise in forgiveness & pure, unadultered self love.
Run away.
Spend some time by yourself or with a close friend. Escape the usual. Go somewhere you’ve never been, spend some time, soak it up. It will shake up your vision of what the world is like & give you a fresh new perspective on things.
Keep your Radical Self Love totem on you at all times & start telling people about it.
Scary? Maybe. Do it anyway. Tell people what it is, why you’re wearing it, what it means to you & why they should try Radical Self Love too… !
Be brave.
Take a deep breath & just go for it.
Talk to strangers.
Even though your mother told you not to! You never know who you’ll meet or what genius they might impart.
Respect yourself 100%...
& don’t accept anything less from anyone else.
Make the most of every opportunity.
Even when you’re tired, afraid or nervous. If you hold back every time you don’t feel amazing, you’ll miss out on so much of life. Make the commitment to living boldly. Always remember: Fortes fortuna adiuvat. Fortune favours the brave.
Appreciate the people in your life.
Because everyone has a choice as to whether they want to be in your life or not! If you don’t show them how much they mean to you, they might not stick around, & it’s a hard lesson to learn. Be good to them. Let them know how much you value them all the time. You cannot be too loving!
Work on your Radical Self Love Bible all the time.
Even after the month is over. Radical Self Love is not just a one-month project! It is a life-long adventure! In your Bible, you can chart your progress, dive deeper into your own weirdness, explore your contradictions & embrace your own unique form of madness. Put in anything that you think is relevant. Journal your thoughts, chart your moods, make dream sheets (also called vision boards, just on a smaller scale), write affirmations, take note of powerful sayings & compose love letters to yourself. Keep it with you at all times & work on it when you’re waiting for the bus. Ask yourself questions & take time answering them. Re-answer them every week. See how things change. Channel powerful women until you feel like you are one too. Nothing is forbidden, everything is allowed. BE YOU!
Dress up for yourself.
Wear things which make you happy! Don’t dress to “attract a mate” or to impress your peer group, wear things that you like. Make yourself happy!
Really take time for yourself.
If you’re constantly scrambling around, bouncing from work to social engagement & back again, it’s inevitable that you’re going to feel exhausted & worn out. Taking some time for yourself is so valuable & something that a lot of us forget about. Wake up half an hour earlier & do some yoga or sun salutations, even sit in a comfortable chair & do some deep breathing — anything to get you grounded & centred for the day. It makes a huge, huge difference to your quality of life.
Think about this every day: “The question isn’t who is going to let me; it’s who is going to stop me.” (Ayn Rand)
Thanks, Chris Guillebeau.
Set yourself enormous goals.
Goals which scare you, goals which cause a lump in your throat. AIM HIGH! Most people aim for mediocrity, & that’s exactly what they get. Don’t you deserve better?
Don’t allow yourself to rest on your laurels.
So you’ve made a name for yourself? Congratulations, that’s wonderful! Now try something new. Being the best is boring! Get into another industry, start something from the ground up. Don’t just do the same thing over & over again. Challenge yourself! It’s so much fun.
Be your own superhero.
Make magic every day.
It’s worth the small amount of extra effort to cultivate a more beautiful life.
Don’t live your life online.
....‘Cause as much as we love our computers, it only represents such a small part of what life is all about! Getting out into the streets, parks, mountains or oceans is so healthy & so vital. Unplug, do something different. Surprise yourself!
Volunteer.
Pick something which is important to you & see what you can do to help. Can you offer time, money, your voice or influence? So many people would really, really, really appreciate your help & attention.
Dance in public.
It’s very liberating if you’ve never done it before! & even if you HAVE... Dance in the library or something! Cause a scene. Make people smile. Totally worth it.
Be your own best friend.
As opposed to your own worst enemy…
Support other women.
No matter WHAT you may think of their choices or behaviour. It’s so easy to be jealous of one another or act like crazy people but ultimately it does no good. Seriously, swallow it down. We need each other, now more than ever!
Don’t patronise places that treat you poorly.
It only makes you feel bad about yourself! Give your money to the people who do a good job & who appreciate your business.
Don’t settle for things just because “it’s always been this way”.
Maybe it used to be that way, or maybe it is that way for other people, but NOT FOR YOU! Eff the status quo! Don’t compromise on things which are important to you!
Be good to your temple.
You only get one — might as well lavish it with love!
Be impeccable with your word.
This is from Don Miguel Ruiz’s book, The Four Agreements. “Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean.” If you say you’ll do something, do it. Don’t speak badly of other people. Use your words to uplift & spread love. Be honest & kind with the things you say.
Do “the right thing”, even when you’d get away with it, even when no one is watching.
It’s all about integrity, baby!
Treat other people with respect at all times.
Everybody, no matter their situation, deserves it.
Be compassionate.
Sometimes it’s hard to understand other people, or see where they’re coming from, but if you make a commitment to being compassionate, you will start to get a deeper understanding of human nature. It will make you much more peaceful, ‘cause when you can see where people are coming from, it’s hard to be mad!
Watch Eve Ensler.
...& write this down.
“You have to give to the world the thing that you want the most, in order to fix the broken parts inside you.” Eve Ensler, you are so good.
Operate on your own agenda.
Do you want to look a certain way, or does society want you to? Do you really want to have a social life that looks like this, or is it just what you think is expected? Don’t allow any industry or societal standard to bully you. You are who you are, & it’s worth hanging onto.
Innovate.
Try new things. Shake up your routine. See what works.
Evaluate your life & ruthlessly cut out the things which aren’t working.
...While at the same time keeping this in mind:
“Simply put, you believe that things or people make you unhappy, but this is not accurate. You make yourself unhappy.” Thanks, Wayne Dyer.
Come up with your own definition of spirituality.
It doesn’t have to be religious or woo-woo in any way, it can just be a way of reconnecting yourself to the present moment. Some people do this by dancing, others by meditating. Whatever it is, make time for it in your life, & make it a priority.
Share your dreams.
Do not be afraid. When you share a dream with someone who loves you, you open yourself up to new ideas, new contacts & sometimes an extra pair of hands to pitch in! Be brave.
Reinvent yourself as an expression of pure love.
Spend time with people who do good things.
It will reinstate your faith in the human race & remind you of the inherent goodness in people. Much more uplifting than hanging out with pessimists!
Take action.
Channel Clint Eastwood.
& I quote: “Respect your efforts, respect yourself. Self-respect leads to self-discipline. When you have both firmly under your belt, that’s real power.”
Incorporate meditative ritual into your life.
I think the word “meditation” puts a lot of people off, & it doesn’t need to. My idea of meditation is just focusing on nothing or clearing your mind. Walking meditation is rad — you walk out the door & keep going, letting all thoughts go as soon as they float into your consciousness. Don’t judge or beat yourself up if your mind is screaming for attention the first few times you do it, it’s totally normal. The pay-off — real clarity of mind — is amazing & worth going for.
Be inclusive.
Invite your friends places. Include everyone in the conversation. Ask people you don’t know so well about themselves. Make people feel like you want them there. The love & appreciation they’ll beam back at you will make you feel wonderful!
Think about what you want the theme of your life to be.
Is it an epic love story or a grand adventure? Or is the theme something more simple, & able to be summed up with a single word? “Discovery” or “freedom”? How can you bring that theme into your everyday life?
Think about how you can encourage other people to love themselves too.
When we carry the torch of radical self love, we become ambassadors for it, & are infused with the energy & ability to pass it on to other people. We can do this just by being ourselves — a living example — but there are specific ways in which we can help other people love themselves too. Think about your unique talents & strengths. How can you carry out the self love buzz?
Celebrate the ways in which you have grown & changed.
Growth is good, change is wonderful, evolution is fantastic. It’s proof that we’re on a path, that we’re going somewhere, that we’re living out our story to its full potential. Bake yourself a cake or somethin’!
Embrace your power.
Start dressing in a way which makes you feel sexy & confident…
As opposed to just following what’s in style. Not all silhouettes suit all people. There are definitely styles that are best for individual body types. Once you know what works for you, make the most of it! Few things make you feel better than knowing that you look great.
Love everyone.
Even when they hurt you, even when they don’t get it, even when they don’t listen & even when they behave badly. When you love, miracles happen.
Listen to Leonard Cohen.
“Ring the bells that still can ring, forget your perfect offering, there’s a crack in everything, that’s how the light gets in.” (Thank you, Nadia.)
Get more sleep.
Most of us don’t get anywhere near enough hours of rest, & it can seriously impair our bodies & emotional states. Just go to bed a little bit earlier — you’ll feel so much better.
Look at this photo of Madonna. (NSFW!)
Be inspired. That is radical self love in action!
Apologize.
“While you’re carrying a grudge, they’re out dancing.” (Buddy Hackett) Don’t allow problems or misunderstandings to fester. Don’t walk around angry, stewing in your juices. Just apologise so everyone can move on.
Take yourself on dates.
Get dressed up & go to the library, eat a delicious lunch next to the river, ride your bike around the city & make the best dinner you possibly can. I’ve said it before & I will say it again, you deserve your love much more than anyone else does.
Don’t take yourself too seriously!
It never leads to anything good, haha. If you can laugh at yourself, you’re well on your way.
Forgive yourself.
It’s all in the past. Time to move on, babe.
Just love yourself.
No matter the circumstances. You are always good enough, you always deserve it & you are always beautiful, despite what you might think or believe. Just love yourself.
Leave a comment with your best tip for RADICAL SELF LOVE.
Yes please!
100 Ways You Can Start Loving Yourself Right Now
[ 14 February 2010 ]
Photo by the amazing Danielle Dynomite!
Radical Self Love is a big topic. Kind of daunting, actually. If you want to delve into it, where do you begin? Here are some ideas. To you from me, Pinky Lee!
Make lists of reasons why you love yourself…
& write down (or keep mental lists) of the compliments other people give you. We’re so quick to believe people when they say nasty, unkind or “brutally honest” (ahem, cruel) things to or about us, & we discard all the times we’re told how amazing, beautiful or intelligent we are. Usually this is because our sense of self-doubt is stronger than our self-love. If you can build up the love side of things, this will begin to change.
Reach out to others…
....& do it regularly. When we don’t talk to people about how we’re feeling, or don’t have anyone to bounce ideas around with, it can be easy to feel lost, confused & out of touch. It also makes it easier for depression & sadness to nibble at our toes. Being reminded that the world is bigger than our bubble can inspire & uplift us.
Think of a way you could make your life easier — then do it.
This could be anything from hiring an assistant to buying a better computer or just learning to say “no” more often. Whatever it is, make it a priority. Do some research on how to make it happen, & then get going!
Change the way you think about food.
So many of us get trapped into thinking that food is “good” or “bad” & there is no in-between. Associating a word like “good” or “bad” with a type of food doesn’t help us, it doesn’t mean anything, it just makes us feel guilty or like we should be “doing better”. What has helped me is to think of food as pure fuel for my body, & considering how it will make me feel or how much energy it will give me. I know that my body (& my brain) work better when I feed myself with fresh raw vegetables & lots of water & fruit, & that I feel sluggish & useless when I eat heaping forkfuls of pasta. If you can think about food that way, there’s less guilt, & you feel more informed & aware.
Stretch in the mornings.
It gets the blood moving, it fires up your brain & it gives you a few moments to just be still & grounded before the day begins.
Really listen to people when they are speaking.
Look at them, make eye contact & be present. They’ll feel good that you care enough to properly engage them, & you’ll feel great in return.
Have media black-out days.
The concept of doing this terrifies me but I know it needs to happen. Stay away from your computer, phone & television for an entire day. Those of us are who technology addicts will FREAK out at this idea but that’s an even bigger sign that we should try it. So many of us use technology to distract ourselves & keep our minds busy, when we would be far better served by just sitting still & learning to be comfortable alone.
Have that “awkward” conversation.
You’ve been holding it in too long. Bite the bullet, take a deep breath, & tell the truth. Be gentle but honest. No one can predict how they’ll react, but it doesn’t really matter. The time has come. Say it, & move on.
Read through the results when you search Tumblr for “love yourself”...
& be proud at the way this generation — YOUR GENERATION — is shaping up. You are part of this. This is your movement.
Ask for help.
Whatever you’re going through, someone else has been through before, & come out the other side. You don’t need to reinvent the wheel — don’t be afraid to ask someone for advice or help. It could make a huge difference.
Know that you are good enough ALL THE TIME.
Yes, you are.
Find a mantra & hold it close.
My new favourite is courtesy of Emily. Om Namah Shivaya, roughly translated, means “Greetings to She Who I am Becoming” &/or “With great respect, I honor my heart”. So beautiful!
Print out Sark’s picture & stick it in your Radical Self Love Bible.
No further explanation needed!
Do your very, very best to stop judging people.
Wayne Dyer said, “When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself.” Those critical voices inside of you get a great work-out when you let them loose on someone else, & it’s like training for the grand event — that of judging yourself. If you don’t exercise those voices, they’ll eventually disappear altogether, making you a much happier person.
Explore your sexuality.
If you don’t know a lot about what makes you tick, decide that it’s time to FIND OUT! Then, once you know, COMMUNICATE IT! Don’t be afraid to tell your lover what you really want, what you wish they’d do or make suggestions. If they’re threatened by the fact that you are in tune with your sexuality, THEY’RE NOT WORTH IT! As Jay-Z would say, “On to the next one!“ Unlocking your real desires is powerful & potent & important. Don’t downplay it & don’t accept anything less.
Express love in as many ways as you can.
Tell your friends you ADORE them, say thank you & mean it, flash your biggest & most sincere smile at strangers on the street, hug people for longer than normal. The more love you give out, the more it builds inside of you & the more you’ll get back — I pinky promise.
Wear sequins.
They’re a wonderful mood booster. If you’re too conservative to wear them, buy sequinned knickers & wear them secretly!
Take a bubblebath wearing a tiara.
Embrace the unknown.
Not everything needs to be planned to the last minute detail! Mystery is wonderful & invigorating. It is the zest of life.
Clean out your closet.
In addition to getting rid of old junk, cleaning out closets or cupboards is therapeutic because at the same time, you’re clearing space in your life for new, better things.
Increase the amount of spinach you eat.
It’s like a miracle food. It’s so good for you & makes you feel amazing! Throw it in a smoothie (you won’t even taste it), use it as the base instead of lettuce in a salad or just snack on baby spinach fresh out of the bag. Yum!
Forget about your “to do” list & just BE.
That’s when you’ll have the most fun, make the best breakthroughs & experience the most amazing adventures. Life is much more exciting & wonderful when you throw caution to the wind & do something ridiculous.
Make a little extra effort every day.
Your definition of “effort” could be wearing a bow on your head, brightly coloured socks or even just taking the time to sit down with a book every night before bed. Just pick something that you know will make you feel good, & then do it.
Listen to new types of music & dance!
Country? Bollywood? Rap? Seek it out & enjoy it with your whole body.
Treat yourself to new knickers.
It’s almost a sure-fire way of feeling sexier & more delighted. Getting 5 pairs of cute knickers for $25 at Victoria’s Secret is one of the great joys in life, I think!
Change your alarm clock to something which makes you smile.
For a long time, I had Flight Of The Conchords’ Foux De Fa Fa as my wake-up call. It was a wonderful way to wake up. “...Boeuf!”
Be good to your body.
You probably know what that means for you. So what are you waiting for?
Know that you deserve love…
From yourself & from everyone else.
Throw away your scales.
Or, if they were expensive & maybe something you need around, hide them. Put them in the back of your closet, into storage or inside a suitcase. Just don’t look at them. I haven’t weighed myself since 2006 & it hasn’t impacted my life negatively at all — in fact, I feel more free than ever. I don’t care how much I weigh, I just go by how I feel & how my clothing fits. You might like to give it a shot!
Be vibrant & colourful.
If not in dress, then in word & deed. The world has enough grey! Be the antidote!
Do something you’ve been afraid to do.
@ifyouneedtime tweeted, “Happy Valentine’s Day to me: 10 canvases, new acrylics, and texture building mix for the paint! 5+ yrs since I’ve painted. #radicalselflove” It’s never too late to do what you really want to do. Don’t let other people’s opinions or fear or criticism stop you from being as wonderful as you can be.
Read self hatred: beneath sugar-coated criticism + self improvement.
Self-criticism is not “love”, and it is certainly not indifferent. It’s a form of hatred. And when I name that, when I see it for what it is (raw and uncomfortable and saddening…) when I refuse to sugar-coat self criticism, judgment, agitation, and constantly trying to improve myself, then I’m one quantum leap closer to freedom. Out of the swamp. Grounded in love…
Start thinking of Valentine’s Day as a day for YOU.
A day to bask in the brilliance of you. A day to celebrate making it this far. A day to totally GET OFF on how rad you are. Treat yourself, luxuriate, have a bath which leaves you soft & wrinkly. Have a long nap & dream. Own it, make it yours. Then do the same next year, & the next, & the next…
Recognise that you are a miracle.
Eat dark chocolate.
As @kitty_polaca would say, FEED YOUR CURVES! Plus, dark chocolate is one of the healthiest foods you can eat! Truth!
Stop worrying about other people’s opinions.
It doesn’t matter whether it is the opinion of a stranger or your husband, sometimes we let what other people think determine how we live our life… & it’s ridiculous. Ultimately, their thoughts on what we do & how we do it are irrelevant — all that matters is that it sits well with you.
Nourish yourself.
Get still & listen to what your body is telling you it really needs.
Play the drums.
If you don’t have a drum-kit (& few of us do) or know of a drumming circle near you, chopsticks & a couple of boxes will totally do the trick! Shut the door, close your eyes, & start drumming. It makes for great therapy.
Find amazing new icons & role models.
Read up & get inspired to live your life out loud.
Get more sunshine.
It really will make you feel so good. In addition to strengthening your immune system, muscles & bones, Vitamin D also stimulates the pineal gland, which is the part of the brain responsible for producing happy feelings. Yum!
Stop trying to “fit in”.
It’s just conformity, which is the most boring thing ever! So WHAT if people stare at you? So WHAT if some people don’t get it? IT DOESN’T MATTER! Do your damn thing & be proud!
Recognise that life is only ever what you make it.
So why not make it magical, wonderful, beautiful & strange?
Get out everything that you’ve been holding onto.
Record it to your voicemail, draw it, write it down, just get it out of you somehow. Then destroy it, & let it go.
Write a letter to yourself as a child.
This can be an amazing exercise in forgiveness & pure, unadultered self love.
Run away.
Spend some time by yourself or with a close friend. Escape the usual. Go somewhere you’ve never been, spend some time, soak it up. It will shake up your vision of what the world is like & give you a fresh new perspective on things.
Keep your Radical Self Love totem on you at all times & start telling people about it.
Scary? Maybe. Do it anyway. Tell people what it is, why you’re wearing it, what it means to you & why they should try Radical Self Love too… !
Be brave.
Take a deep breath & just go for it.
Talk to strangers.
Even though your mother told you not to! You never know who you’ll meet or what genius they might impart.
Respect yourself 100%...
& don’t accept anything less from anyone else.
Make the most of every opportunity.
Even when you’re tired, afraid or nervous. If you hold back every time you don’t feel amazing, you’ll miss out on so much of life. Make the commitment to living boldly. Always remember: Fortes fortuna adiuvat. Fortune favours the brave.
Appreciate the people in your life.
Because everyone has a choice as to whether they want to be in your life or not! If you don’t show them how much they mean to you, they might not stick around, & it’s a hard lesson to learn. Be good to them. Let them know how much you value them all the time. You cannot be too loving!
Work on your Radical Self Love Bible all the time.
Even after the month is over. Radical Self Love is not just a one-month project! It is a life-long adventure! In your Bible, you can chart your progress, dive deeper into your own weirdness, explore your contradictions & embrace your own unique form of madness. Put in anything that you think is relevant. Journal your thoughts, chart your moods, make dream sheets (also called vision boards, just on a smaller scale), write affirmations, take note of powerful sayings & compose love letters to yourself. Keep it with you at all times & work on it when you’re waiting for the bus. Ask yourself questions & take time answering them. Re-answer them every week. See how things change. Channel powerful women until you feel like you are one too. Nothing is forbidden, everything is allowed. BE YOU!
Dress up for yourself.
Wear things which make you happy! Don’t dress to “attract a mate” or to impress your peer group, wear things that you like. Make yourself happy!
Really take time for yourself.
If you’re constantly scrambling around, bouncing from work to social engagement & back again, it’s inevitable that you’re going to feel exhausted & worn out. Taking some time for yourself is so valuable & something that a lot of us forget about. Wake up half an hour earlier & do some yoga or sun salutations, even sit in a comfortable chair & do some deep breathing — anything to get you grounded & centred for the day. It makes a huge, huge difference to your quality of life.
Think about this every day: “The question isn’t who is going to let me; it’s who is going to stop me.” (Ayn Rand)
Thanks, Chris Guillebeau.
Set yourself enormous goals.
Goals which scare you, goals which cause a lump in your throat. AIM HIGH! Most people aim for mediocrity, & that’s exactly what they get. Don’t you deserve better?
Don’t allow yourself to rest on your laurels.
So you’ve made a name for yourself? Congratulations, that’s wonderful! Now try something new. Being the best is boring! Get into another industry, start something from the ground up. Don’t just do the same thing over & over again. Challenge yourself! It’s so much fun.
Be your own superhero.
Make magic every day.
It’s worth the small amount of extra effort to cultivate a more beautiful life.
Don’t live your life online.
....‘Cause as much as we love our computers, it only represents such a small part of what life is all about! Getting out into the streets, parks, mountains or oceans is so healthy & so vital. Unplug, do something different. Surprise yourself!
Volunteer.
Pick something which is important to you & see what you can do to help. Can you offer time, money, your voice or influence? So many people would really, really, really appreciate your help & attention.
Dance in public.
It’s very liberating if you’ve never done it before! & even if you HAVE... Dance in the library or something! Cause a scene. Make people smile. Totally worth it.
Be your own best friend.
As opposed to your own worst enemy…
Support other women.
No matter WHAT you may think of their choices or behaviour. It’s so easy to be jealous of one another or act like crazy people but ultimately it does no good. Seriously, swallow it down. We need each other, now more than ever!
Don’t patronise places that treat you poorly.
It only makes you feel bad about yourself! Give your money to the people who do a good job & who appreciate your business.
Don’t settle for things just because “it’s always been this way”.
Maybe it used to be that way, or maybe it is that way for other people, but NOT FOR YOU! Eff the status quo! Don’t compromise on things which are important to you!
Be good to your temple.
You only get one — might as well lavish it with love!
Be impeccable with your word.
This is from Don Miguel Ruiz’s book, The Four Agreements. “Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean.” If you say you’ll do something, do it. Don’t speak badly of other people. Use your words to uplift & spread love. Be honest & kind with the things you say.
Do “the right thing”, even when you’d get away with it, even when no one is watching.
It’s all about integrity, baby!
Treat other people with respect at all times.
Everybody, no matter their situation, deserves it.
Be compassionate.
Sometimes it’s hard to understand other people, or see where they’re coming from, but if you make a commitment to being compassionate, you will start to get a deeper understanding of human nature. It will make you much more peaceful, ‘cause when you can see where people are coming from, it’s hard to be mad!
Watch Eve Ensler.
...& write this down.
“You have to give to the world the thing that you want the most, in order to fix the broken parts inside you.” Eve Ensler, you are so good.
Operate on your own agenda.
Do you want to look a certain way, or does society want you to? Do you really want to have a social life that looks like this, or is it just what you think is expected? Don’t allow any industry or societal standard to bully you. You are who you are, & it’s worth hanging onto.
Innovate.
Try new things. Shake up your routine. See what works.
Evaluate your life & ruthlessly cut out the things which aren’t working.
...While at the same time keeping this in mind:
“Simply put, you believe that things or people make you unhappy, but this is not accurate. You make yourself unhappy.” Thanks, Wayne Dyer.
Come up with your own definition of spirituality.
It doesn’t have to be religious or woo-woo in any way, it can just be a way of reconnecting yourself to the present moment. Some people do this by dancing, others by meditating. Whatever it is, make time for it in your life, & make it a priority.
Share your dreams.
Do not be afraid. When you share a dream with someone who loves you, you open yourself up to new ideas, new contacts & sometimes an extra pair of hands to pitch in! Be brave.
Reinvent yourself as an expression of pure love.
Spend time with people who do good things.
It will reinstate your faith in the human race & remind you of the inherent goodness in people. Much more uplifting than hanging out with pessimists!
Take action.
Channel Clint Eastwood.
& I quote: “Respect your efforts, respect yourself. Self-respect leads to self-discipline. When you have both firmly under your belt, that’s real power.”
Incorporate meditative ritual into your life.
I think the word “meditation” puts a lot of people off, & it doesn’t need to. My idea of meditation is just focusing on nothing or clearing your mind. Walking meditation is rad — you walk out the door & keep going, letting all thoughts go as soon as they float into your consciousness. Don’t judge or beat yourself up if your mind is screaming for attention the first few times you do it, it’s totally normal. The pay-off — real clarity of mind — is amazing & worth going for.
Be inclusive.
Invite your friends places. Include everyone in the conversation. Ask people you don’t know so well about themselves. Make people feel like you want them there. The love & appreciation they’ll beam back at you will make you feel wonderful!
Think about what you want the theme of your life to be.
Is it an epic love story or a grand adventure? Or is the theme something more simple, & able to be summed up with a single word? “Discovery” or “freedom”? How can you bring that theme into your everyday life?
Think about how you can encourage other people to love themselves too.
When we carry the torch of radical self love, we become ambassadors for it, & are infused with the energy & ability to pass it on to other people. We can do this just by being ourselves — a living example — but there are specific ways in which we can help other people love themselves too. Think about your unique talents & strengths. How can you carry out the self love buzz?
Celebrate the ways in which you have grown & changed.
Growth is good, change is wonderful, evolution is fantastic. It’s proof that we’re on a path, that we’re going somewhere, that we’re living out our story to its full potential. Bake yourself a cake or somethin’!
Embrace your power.
Start dressing in a way which makes you feel sexy & confident…
As opposed to just following what’s in style. Not all silhouettes suit all people. There are definitely styles that are best for individual body types. Once you know what works for you, make the most of it! Few things make you feel better than knowing that you look great.
Love everyone.
Even when they hurt you, even when they don’t get it, even when they don’t listen & even when they behave badly. When you love, miracles happen.
Listen to Leonard Cohen.
“Ring the bells that still can ring, forget your perfect offering, there’s a crack in everything, that’s how the light gets in.” (Thank you, Nadia.)
Get more sleep.
Most of us don’t get anywhere near enough hours of rest, & it can seriously impair our bodies & emotional states. Just go to bed a little bit earlier — you’ll feel so much better.
Look at this photo of Madonna. (NSFW!)
Be inspired. That is radical self love in action!
Apologize.
“While you’re carrying a grudge, they’re out dancing.” (Buddy Hackett) Don’t allow problems or misunderstandings to fester. Don’t walk around angry, stewing in your juices. Just apologise so everyone can move on.
Take yourself on dates.
Get dressed up & go to the library, eat a delicious lunch next to the river, ride your bike around the city & make the best dinner you possibly can. I’ve said it before & I will say it again, you deserve your love much more than anyone else does.
Don’t take yourself too seriously!
It never leads to anything good, haha. If you can laugh at yourself, you’re well on your way.
Forgive yourself.
It’s all in the past. Time to move on, babe.
Just love yourself.
No matter the circumstances. You are always good enough, you always deserve it & you are always beautiful, despite what you might think or believe. Just love yourself.
Leave a comment with your best tip for RADICAL SELF LOVE.
Yes please!
EASIER TO CRITICIZE
Once upon a time there was a painter who had just completed his course. He took 3 days and painted beautiful scenery. He wanted people's opinion about his caliber and painting skills.
He put his creation at a busy street-crossing. And just down below a board which read -"I have painted this piece. Since I'm new to this profession I might have committed some mistakes in my strokes etc. Please put a cross wherever you see a mistake."
While he came back in the evening to collect his painting he was completely shattered to see that whole canvass was filled with Xs (crosses) and some people had even written their comments on the painting.
Disheartened and broken completely he ran to his master's place and burst into tears.
This young artist was breathing heavily and master heard him saying "I'm useless and if this is what I have learnt to paint I'm not worth becoming a painter. People have rejected me completely.
I feel like dying"
Master smiled and suggested "My Son, I will prove that you are a great artist and have learnt flawless painting. Do as I say without questioning it. It WILL work."
Young artist reluctantly agreed and two days later early morning he presented a replica of his earlier painting to his master. Master took that gracefully and smiled.
"Come with me." master said.
They reached the same street-square early morning and displayed the same painting exactly at the same place. Now master took out another board which read -"Gentlemen, I have painted this piece.
Since I'm new to this profession I might have committed some mistakes in my strokes etc. I have put a box with colors and brushes just below. Please do a favor. If you see a mistake, kindly pick up the brush and correct it."
Master and disciple walked back home.
They both visited the place same evening. Young painter was surprised to see that actually there was not a single correction done so far. Next day again they visited and found painting remained untouched. They say the painting was kept there for a month for no correction came in!
Moral of the story:
It is easier to criticize, but DIFFICULT TO IMPROVE!
So don't get carried away or judge yourself by someone else's criticism and feel depressed...
JUDGE YOURSELF! YOU ARE YOUR BEST JUDGE!!!
He put his creation at a busy street-crossing. And just down below a board which read -"I have painted this piece. Since I'm new to this profession I might have committed some mistakes in my strokes etc. Please put a cross wherever you see a mistake."
While he came back in the evening to collect his painting he was completely shattered to see that whole canvass was filled with Xs (crosses) and some people had even written their comments on the painting.
Disheartened and broken completely he ran to his master's place and burst into tears.
This young artist was breathing heavily and master heard him saying "I'm useless and if this is what I have learnt to paint I'm not worth becoming a painter. People have rejected me completely.
I feel like dying"
Master smiled and suggested "My Son, I will prove that you are a great artist and have learnt flawless painting. Do as I say without questioning it. It WILL work."
Young artist reluctantly agreed and two days later early morning he presented a replica of his earlier painting to his master. Master took that gracefully and smiled.
"Come with me." master said.
They reached the same street-square early morning and displayed the same painting exactly at the same place. Now master took out another board which read -"Gentlemen, I have painted this piece.
Since I'm new to this profession I might have committed some mistakes in my strokes etc. I have put a box with colors and brushes just below. Please do a favor. If you see a mistake, kindly pick up the brush and correct it."
Master and disciple walked back home.
They both visited the place same evening. Young painter was surprised to see that actually there was not a single correction done so far. Next day again they visited and found painting remained untouched. They say the painting was kept there for a month for no correction came in!
Moral of the story:
It is easier to criticize, but DIFFICULT TO IMPROVE!
So don't get carried away or judge yourself by someone else's criticism and feel depressed...
JUDGE YOURSELF! YOU ARE YOUR BEST JUDGE!!!
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
Piano Examination
I'm glad and overjoyed. I'm glad to tell all of you that I obtained a distinction {87} marks for my grade 8 piano exam. I obtained distinction for all the grades except grade 5. I obtained merit for grade 5 which is 3 marks away to distinction. I'm very thankful to my teacher who taught me hard. She taught me skills and how to be a good player. Without her support, I couldn't get distinction. Sometimes when a teacher is strict, we, as students will get good results. I'm talented in music. I should use this ability to serve in church and other places. Thank God for giving me the gift. Maybe one day I can be a famous musician and create my own website. I hope my dream will come true.
Monday, June 27, 2011
10 Free Ways to Speed Up Your PC
Does it feel like you can make a pot of coffee and clean the kitchen all in the time it takes for your computer system to boot up? Do you find yourself daydreaming of dropping it off the top of your office building while you’re waiting for web pages to load? If it seems like your computer is running slower every day, here are some things to do to get your “old reliable” running in tip-top shape. Of course, budget-savvy Nerd Chicks are always looking for ways to save some dough, so we’ve made sure they are all free.
1. Get Rid of the Nasties
Viruses and spyware don’t always break your computer, but they do always slow it down. They’re more common than you may think, and can hang out in your system, gumming up the works, without you even knowing it. Microsoft Security Essentials is a great, easy, all-in-one solution to keep your computer healthy and running in top form.
2. Update Your OS
Windows issues updates all the time. These can patch holes in the software, closing vulnerabilities that viruses and spyware exploit, and generally make Windows run better. If you’re running Windows XP, right click on the My Computer icon on the desktop, select Properties and click on the Automatic Updates tab. Make sure you set them to download and install automatically.
3. Purge “Bloatware"
Still have that Norton Trial software installed from when you bought your machine three years ago? Get rid of it! Every time it pops up a window “reminding” you to buy it, I’m guessing a little voice in your head mutters unpleasant things. It’s also slowing down your system as the antiquated software runs in the background. Search for “Norton Removal Tool” (or “McAfee Removal Tool”) to make sure that you get the software fully uninstalled.
4. Speed Your Startup
MSConfig is a tool built in to most versions of Windows. Even novice computer surfers can use this tool to stop programs from starting automatically every time you boot up. While certain things are necessary for Windows to function, if your system is trying to turn on iTunes, your printer, and Adobe every time it boots up, the poor thing’s got a lot of things to get going before it can launch your Sudoku. Click the "Start" button. If you have a search option, type “msconfig” into the search field. If you don’t have a search option, but have a “Run” button on the startup menu, click that instead. When you do this, a window will appear on screen with the word "Run:" next to a blank text field. Type "msconfig" in the blank text field and press "Enter". Click the "Startup" tab at the top of the menu. Uncheck the boxes next to programs that you don't need during startup – but only programs you recognize! Click the "Apply" button, then select "OK", and restart your computer. I can almost hear your computer sighing in relief from here.
5. Defrag Your Hard Drive
Every time you save a file, or update software, your hard drive stores each new thing in chronological order. This means that when you launch Word, your system has to search all over your hard drive to find all the pieces that have been stored over the months, or years. Defragging simply means that your hard drive will take all the “like” things and put them together, allowing programs to launch and work faster. Windows 7 comes configured to defrag automatically, however Windows XP users will need to start the process manually. From the Start menu, right-click the “My Computer” option. Select “Manage” and choose disk defragmenter under the Storage section. Keep in mind that the process can take several hours, so set it to run at night. Also, remember to disable your system’s hibernate mode & screen saver before starting. When the process is complete, restart your PC.
6. Repair the Registry
Your system’s registry is like your hard drive’s table of contents. If there are incorrect entries, it can take your drive longer to find all the pieces of data it needs to launch and run programs. Glary Utilities is a great free application that you can install to quickly and easily fix registry errors and optimize your system’s performance.
7. Clear Out the Cookies
Every time you visit a website, it stores little pieces of itself, or programs, on your system. The idea is that the next time you visit the site it will load that content faster. The problem is that it’s rare that we return to the same sites and see the same things over and over again. Instead, the process of digging through several MBs of temporary internet files will lead all websites to load more slowly. Clear out your cache with CCleaner, a top rated free software program for cleaning out temporary files and making your system run at its best. One tip: use the cookies tab to select cookies you want to keep from sites you visit often and/or want to continue to login to automatically (like your email, or your bank).
8. Clean it, No Really!
Your computer has a fan in it that draws in air to cool the CPU and components. If this fan or vent becomes clogged with dust, pet hair, or other nasties, your system can overheat, causing it to run more sluggishly and eventually break. Grab a can of air and take your PC outside for a field trip. Don’t just blow into the intake vent: open the case, don’t blow air too closely at the components, and blow dust away from the case.
9. Ditch Internet Explorer
There are many alternative browsers you can use to access the Internet. Most techies agree that Google’s Chrome is the fastest option that doesn’t compromise compatibility.
10. If all else fails…
A surefire way to ensure that your system is running as close to good-as-new as you can hope to get is to back up your data, format your hard drive, and reinstall Windows. Keep in mind that you will need to reinstall all of your software, including office. Don’t forget to install your anti-virus and anti-spyware before surfing the net!
1. Get Rid of the Nasties
Viruses and spyware don’t always break your computer, but they do always slow it down. They’re more common than you may think, and can hang out in your system, gumming up the works, without you even knowing it. Microsoft Security Essentials is a great, easy, all-in-one solution to keep your computer healthy and running in top form.
2. Update Your OS
Windows issues updates all the time. These can patch holes in the software, closing vulnerabilities that viruses and spyware exploit, and generally make Windows run better. If you’re running Windows XP, right click on the My Computer icon on the desktop, select Properties and click on the Automatic Updates tab. Make sure you set them to download and install automatically.
3. Purge “Bloatware"
Still have that Norton Trial software installed from when you bought your machine three years ago? Get rid of it! Every time it pops up a window “reminding” you to buy it, I’m guessing a little voice in your head mutters unpleasant things. It’s also slowing down your system as the antiquated software runs in the background. Search for “Norton Removal Tool” (or “McAfee Removal Tool”) to make sure that you get the software fully uninstalled.
4. Speed Your Startup
MSConfig is a tool built in to most versions of Windows. Even novice computer surfers can use this tool to stop programs from starting automatically every time you boot up. While certain things are necessary for Windows to function, if your system is trying to turn on iTunes, your printer, and Adobe every time it boots up, the poor thing’s got a lot of things to get going before it can launch your Sudoku. Click the "Start" button. If you have a search option, type “msconfig” into the search field. If you don’t have a search option, but have a “Run” button on the startup menu, click that instead. When you do this, a window will appear on screen with the word "Run:" next to a blank text field. Type "msconfig" in the blank text field and press "Enter". Click the "Startup" tab at the top of the menu. Uncheck the boxes next to programs that you don't need during startup – but only programs you recognize! Click the "Apply" button, then select "OK", and restart your computer. I can almost hear your computer sighing in relief from here.
5. Defrag Your Hard Drive
Every time you save a file, or update software, your hard drive stores each new thing in chronological order. This means that when you launch Word, your system has to search all over your hard drive to find all the pieces that have been stored over the months, or years. Defragging simply means that your hard drive will take all the “like” things and put them together, allowing programs to launch and work faster. Windows 7 comes configured to defrag automatically, however Windows XP users will need to start the process manually. From the Start menu, right-click the “My Computer” option. Select “Manage” and choose disk defragmenter under the Storage section. Keep in mind that the process can take several hours, so set it to run at night. Also, remember to disable your system’s hibernate mode & screen saver before starting. When the process is complete, restart your PC.
6. Repair the Registry
Your system’s registry is like your hard drive’s table of contents. If there are incorrect entries, it can take your drive longer to find all the pieces of data it needs to launch and run programs. Glary Utilities is a great free application that you can install to quickly and easily fix registry errors and optimize your system’s performance.
7. Clear Out the Cookies
Every time you visit a website, it stores little pieces of itself, or programs, on your system. The idea is that the next time you visit the site it will load that content faster. The problem is that it’s rare that we return to the same sites and see the same things over and over again. Instead, the process of digging through several MBs of temporary internet files will lead all websites to load more slowly. Clear out your cache with CCleaner, a top rated free software program for cleaning out temporary files and making your system run at its best. One tip: use the cookies tab to select cookies you want to keep from sites you visit often and/or want to continue to login to automatically (like your email, or your bank).
8. Clean it, No Really!
Your computer has a fan in it that draws in air to cool the CPU and components. If this fan or vent becomes clogged with dust, pet hair, or other nasties, your system can overheat, causing it to run more sluggishly and eventually break. Grab a can of air and take your PC outside for a field trip. Don’t just blow into the intake vent: open the case, don’t blow air too closely at the components, and blow dust away from the case.
9. Ditch Internet Explorer
There are many alternative browsers you can use to access the Internet. Most techies agree that Google’s Chrome is the fastest option that doesn’t compromise compatibility.
10. If all else fails…
A surefire way to ensure that your system is running as close to good-as-new as you can hope to get is to back up your data, format your hard drive, and reinstall Windows. Keep in mind that you will need to reinstall all of your software, including office. Don’t forget to install your anti-virus and anti-spyware before surfing the net!
Saturday, June 25, 2011
Be brain-tumour aware
Be brain-tumour aware
A new campaign is being launched to help parents recognise the warning signs of brain tumours.
Parents are being encouraged to be aware of the warning signs linked to brain tumoursBrain tumours remain the leading cause of cancer deaths in children, with around 500 children and young people a year being diagnosed.
Symptoms of a brain tumour can often be similar to those of other illnesses; which can lead to symptoms being mistaken as less serious than they actually are.
In the UK it can take up to three months for a child to be diagnosed, three times longer than in the United States and Canada. A delay in diagnosis can have devastating results, contributing to higher death rates and lifelong disabilities.
Warning signs to be aware of include fits or seizures, persistent or recurring vomiting and headaches, blurred or double vision, abnormal eye movements and deteriorating eyesight. You may find they also struggle with coordination and balance and experience other behavioural changes.
In older children or teenagers, symptoms can also include a slow or late start of puberty.
The Headsmart campaign is a joint campaign by the Children’s Brain Tumour Research Centre at the University of Nottingham, the Royal College of Paediatrics and Child Health and the Samantha Dickson Brain Tumour Trust.
Richard Sloane of Trumpington, whose daughter Alexia lost her sight aged two due to a bran tumour, welcomed the campaign:
“Any campaign that raises awareness is a really good thing particularly for children as there are often such awful results in cases such as these.
“Although I am cautious that it may overly worry parents. If at the first sign of any dizziness they are carting their children off to hospital the doctors could be overrun.”
Professor David Walker at the Children’s Brain Tumour Research Centre also advised that the campaign should not bring unnecessary worry:
“Brain tumours are fortunately rare, but they do happen, and it can be difficult for doctors to diagnose because the symptoms can often mimic less serious illnesses.
“Parents have no need to worry if their child occasionally experiences headaches, for example, but if symptoms come back frequently or are present for more two weeks or more, see your family doctor.”
A new campaign is being launched to help parents recognise the warning signs of brain tumours.
Parents are being encouraged to be aware of the warning signs linked to brain tumoursBrain tumours remain the leading cause of cancer deaths in children, with around 500 children and young people a year being diagnosed.
Symptoms of a brain tumour can often be similar to those of other illnesses; which can lead to symptoms being mistaken as less serious than they actually are.
In the UK it can take up to three months for a child to be diagnosed, three times longer than in the United States and Canada. A delay in diagnosis can have devastating results, contributing to higher death rates and lifelong disabilities.
Warning signs to be aware of include fits or seizures, persistent or recurring vomiting and headaches, blurred or double vision, abnormal eye movements and deteriorating eyesight. You may find they also struggle with coordination and balance and experience other behavioural changes.
In older children or teenagers, symptoms can also include a slow or late start of puberty.
The Headsmart campaign is a joint campaign by the Children’s Brain Tumour Research Centre at the University of Nottingham, the Royal College of Paediatrics and Child Health and the Samantha Dickson Brain Tumour Trust.
Richard Sloane of Trumpington, whose daughter Alexia lost her sight aged two due to a bran tumour, welcomed the campaign:
“Any campaign that raises awareness is a really good thing particularly for children as there are often such awful results in cases such as these.
“Although I am cautious that it may overly worry parents. If at the first sign of any dizziness they are carting their children off to hospital the doctors could be overrun.”
Professor David Walker at the Children’s Brain Tumour Research Centre also advised that the campaign should not bring unnecessary worry:
“Brain tumours are fortunately rare, but they do happen, and it can be difficult for doctors to diagnose because the symptoms can often mimic less serious illnesses.
“Parents have no need to worry if their child occasionally experiences headaches, for example, but if symptoms come back frequently or are present for more two weeks or more, see your family doctor.”
Friday, June 24, 2011
Life Challenges part 3
I feel desperate. I really feel desperate. I really, really need words of comfort from all of you who read my blog. There are many bad things happening to me.. I feel offended, sad, stressed out and burden by problems. Many people have hurt me by their words and the way they treat me. I don't care who read my blog this time. No matter my teachers, friends or my family members. I want to express my anger and sadness here. I have heartache. I hate my teachers. I hate some of my teachers. As a blind girl, I dislike people talking to me loudly or raising there voice when talking to me or teaching in class. There are only 15 students in my class and I'm the only Chinese students. I don't understand why should my teacher shout or raise her voice when teaching? Maybe it's her nature of talking but I can't accept that. Again I say, I hate my PP teacher, a Malay teacher. When I ask her questions, she will shout at me and offend me by words. 2 days ago, I almost cried but I tried to control myself. When students ask her questions, she always say our brain's can be sold if we ask questions. To me she is being harsh. I feel deaf when I here her talking loudly and I can't concentrate on her teaching. When I hate the teacher, I'll automatically hate the subject. Today, she punished me by paying her Rm 1 for not separating my answers on different pieces of papers during the 1st semester examination. What's the money for? This world is so unfair. I also feel that my PA teacher is unfair to the blind students. He wants to buy magazine for the whole class. However we, blind students can't read the magazine and the normal students are not willing to read for us as well. Teacher said even we are blind and cannot read the magazine, we also need to pay Rm5 for the magazine. I'm forced to pay. Apart from that, I also hate my BM teacher. 3 blind students are using braille machine when typing. She says our machines are very noisy and she feel stressed by the noise. When she reads notes for us, the faster we braille, the faster she reads. so we are chasing her. I feel that most of my teachers are not sincere as they feel that blind students are a burden to them. Why are some people not careful when talking? Can't they think before they talk? Why are some people sensitive to others' feelings whereas others are not sensitive? Is it good to be sensitive? I have more burden when I have to do the brailling myself. My teacher ask me to photostat a book and ask me to braille myself. I've lots of things to braille and I've my limitations also. My mum also needs to do her work and can't help me 24 hours. Why do my friends and teachers blame my mum? They are very irresponsible. They think it's easy to braille and edit the notes. Why don't they ask the resos teachers to do? Some of the teachers are very lazy... As a student, my job is to study. Brailling all the books is not my job. I feel that it's not worth studying form 6. Form 6 is a waste of time. I feel hopeless. I'm worried about my results. My marks dropped tremendously. I need to work hard but how??? How how how??? I'm angry with life. I feel like killing myself. I wonder why do some people who are not serious in there studies are able to achieve better results than those who study hard. Some people are very proud. Isn't it pride comes before fall? Some of my friends who are proud and not helpful are doing well in there studies even they like to play. Sometimes I feel that God is unfair. I think that all my challenges are God's tests. I'm really sensitive to how people talk to me and how they treat me. Sometimes I'll get hurt when teachers do not pay attention to me when teaching. All my classmates who are blind also do not like teachers who talk loud. I'm afraid to ask teachers questions as I'm afraid of being scolded. That's why I don't have the courage to ask questions. There is a saying that goes, "He who ask is a fool for 5 minutes. He who never ask is a fool forever." Does it mean that I'm a fool forever? I'm confused. There is also a saying, "To be a great champion, you must believe that you are the best." Does it mean that I must think that I'm the best in this world and no one is better than me in this world? I'm really confused by all these sayings. I don't know how to stop getting hurt. I get hurt and offended easily. Sometimes I can't take things positively. I get angry very fast with people who have hurt me. I lose interest to study. I don't know why.. When I was in form 1 till 3, I could finish all my homework in a day but not now. I hardly finish all my homework in a day. I feel that I'm a failure. I feel that life is not worth living. Sometimes I give up on God especially when I'm tired. I need rest when I'm tired. I wonder how students who take medicine course study. Do they study 24 hours per day? We are not a robot, right? Sometimes I feel that I dislike studying as some of the subjects are boring. However we need to study as we are motivated and disciplined to do so. I also have difficulties in making decisions. Our school will be holding a dinner soon and I don't feel like going. It's a waste of money. I can only go out when I get permission from my parents. My mum says now form 6 is the most important in my life. If I go out it's a waste of time. I dislike going out with untrustworthy friends too. I also dislike my mum nagging all the time. Everyday, my mum advice me to study hard. I know I should study hard but I just don't want her to say this everyday. When she starts saying this, I get angry with her. I'm also angry with some of my friends. These 3 days, my dad is not around and I followed my friend home. I told her that I only got band 3 for my MUET result. She look down on my abilities and said getting band 3 is enough for me as I'm a blind student and cannot compete with normal students. I feel discouraged by her words. How can she say that? She even said it's better for my mum to send me home even she past by my house. We live in the same area. I feel that she is not willing to send me home. I'm really angry when people say getting grade B or C is enough for me. I also need to improve myself, right? Some people say I only need to concentrate on my piano. They say blind people cannot study and blind people can only make friends with the blind and the handicapped. They also say blind people cannot make friends with normal people. I feel hurt... I can't forgive people who say this. I also feel discouraged by my teachers. I don't know how to be assertive. Sometimes I feel that people offend me as they purposely do that. A friend of mine told me that people want to offend us as they want us to improve. However I disagree with him. Some people tend to ask questions that I dislike and when we tell them more, they will ask more. I really feel angry and offended. How how how??? Sometimes I feel that the church members are hypocrite too. I feel that they will grumble when I ask them to send me to church. When they ask me, "Where is your brother?" I feel that they don't want and are not willing to send me. Isn't it good if all of us have attitude like Jesus? When I ask money from my mum, she said, "Why didn't you ask from dad?" I also have to help my friends edit their notes and play piano. I'm forcing myself even I've lots of work to do. How? I also feel that their are many bad friends in this world. How to solve friendship problem? That's all for today. Please email me or leave comments to me after reading this post. Thanks.
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
The Budget - The Ultimate Financial Management Tool
A carpenter makes use of a set of residence ideas to make a residence. If he didn't the bathroom could get ignored completely.
Rocket Scientists would certainly not commence development on a new booster rocket with out a precise set of style specifications. Yet many of us go blindly out in to the globe with out an inkling of an notion about finances and devoid of any method in any way.
Not pretty clever of us, is it?
A capital plan is called a price range and it is actually necessary to get us to our preferred financial aims.
Without a program we are going to drift without direction and conclusion up marooned on a distant fiscal reef.
In case you have a husband or wife or maybe a considerable other, you need to make this price range in concert. Sit down and determine what your joint monetary ambitions are.long phrase and short-term.
Then program your route to have to these goals. Just about every journey starts with a single move as well as the 1st move to attaining your goals is usually to come up with a reasonable spending budget that equally of you can live with.
A finances ought to never ever be an economic starvation eating habits. That won't operate to the extensive haul. Make fair allocations for food, outfits, shelter, utilities and insurance and set aside an affordable amount for enjoyment plus the occasional luxury merchandise. Savings really should often come first in advance of any spending.
Even a little quantity saved will help you get to your extensive expression and short-term financial targets. It is possible to uncover numerous finances kinds over the internet. Just use any look motor you decide on and kind in "free finances forms".
Solution these questions honestly:
Does your wife or husband or partner complain that you just expend too much money?
Do you think you're pleasantly surprised each month when your credit card bill arrives at just how much a lot more you charged than you considered you had?
Do you've extra footwear and apparel inside your closet than you could possibly previously maybe wear?
Do you unique each and every new gadget earlier than it has time to gather dust on a retailer's shelf?
Do you purchase things you didn't know you needed right up until you found them on screen within a retailer?
If you answered "yes" to any two of the previously mentioned issues, you might be an impulse spender and indulge yourself in retail remedy.
It is not a very good thing. It can reduce you from saving for that significant elements like a house, a different car, a family vacation or retirement. You have to set some finance targets and resist investing money on merchandise that really don't make a difference in the long run.
Impulse investing will not only put a strain on your own finances but your relationships, likewise. To overcome the issue, the primary factor to try and do is discover to separate your demands from your desires.
Advertisers blitz us hawking their products at us 24/7. The trick is to give all by yourself a cooling-off period before you acquire something which you haven't planned for.
If you go browsing, make a list and consider only adequate hard cash to pay for that which you have planned to get. Depart your credit cards in your own home.
When you see a little something you think that you really require, give your self two weeks to determine if it really is really a little something you need or anything you are able to readily do with out. By following this straightforward answer, you are going to mend your monetary fences along with your relationships.
Rocket Scientists would certainly not commence development on a new booster rocket with out a precise set of style specifications. Yet many of us go blindly out in to the globe with out an inkling of an notion about finances and devoid of any method in any way.
Not pretty clever of us, is it?
A capital plan is called a price range and it is actually necessary to get us to our preferred financial aims.
Without a program we are going to drift without direction and conclusion up marooned on a distant fiscal reef.
In case you have a husband or wife or maybe a considerable other, you need to make this price range in concert. Sit down and determine what your joint monetary ambitions are.long phrase and short-term.
Then program your route to have to these goals. Just about every journey starts with a single move as well as the 1st move to attaining your goals is usually to come up with a reasonable spending budget that equally of you can live with.
A finances ought to never ever be an economic starvation eating habits. That won't operate to the extensive haul. Make fair allocations for food, outfits, shelter, utilities and insurance and set aside an affordable amount for enjoyment plus the occasional luxury merchandise. Savings really should often come first in advance of any spending.
Even a little quantity saved will help you get to your extensive expression and short-term financial targets. It is possible to uncover numerous finances kinds over the internet. Just use any look motor you decide on and kind in "free finances forms".
Solution these questions honestly:
Does your wife or husband or partner complain that you just expend too much money?
Do you think you're pleasantly surprised each month when your credit card bill arrives at just how much a lot more you charged than you considered you had?
Do you've extra footwear and apparel inside your closet than you could possibly previously maybe wear?
Do you unique each and every new gadget earlier than it has time to gather dust on a retailer's shelf?
Do you purchase things you didn't know you needed right up until you found them on screen within a retailer?
If you answered "yes" to any two of the previously mentioned issues, you might be an impulse spender and indulge yourself in retail remedy.
It is not a very good thing. It can reduce you from saving for that significant elements like a house, a different car, a family vacation or retirement. You have to set some finance targets and resist investing money on merchandise that really don't make a difference in the long run.
Impulse investing will not only put a strain on your own finances but your relationships, likewise. To overcome the issue, the primary factor to try and do is discover to separate your demands from your desires.
Advertisers blitz us hawking their products at us 24/7. The trick is to give all by yourself a cooling-off period before you acquire something which you haven't planned for.
If you go browsing, make a list and consider only adequate hard cash to pay for that which you have planned to get. Depart your credit cards in your own home.
When you see a little something you think that you really require, give your self two weeks to determine if it really is really a little something you need or anything you are able to readily do with out. By following this straightforward answer, you are going to mend your monetary fences along with your relationships.
How to Get Low-cost Motor vehicle Insurance policy in Phoenix, Arizona
It is for this good reason that you're asked about your marital status when you adopt an insurance policy. A married few will get less costly insurance policy cover than individuals who are single, in particular if the two possess clean driving licenses with out any record of accidents.This is for the reason that auto insurance businesses measure your month-to-month premiums primarily based on the concept that drivers who're married are additional mature and are much more possible to generate sensibly than drivers who are single. In this circumstance, the insurance expense for both equally might go up because the value is established centered on the driver with larger chance.You must also retain in thoughts that any potential incidents such as speeding ticket for any of the two might drive up the price tag of joint insurance policy policy later on.So the insurance policy does go down upon obtaining married but it can also go up depending on the driving heritage of the few.Accidents are a synonym to automobiles and car. Of course, young divers now have been involved in vehicle accidents. As per the National Highway figures Teenage Driver Facts: Deaths. Each Yr above 5,000 teen's ages 16 to 20 die because of to fatal injuries induced car accidents. About 400,000 drivers age 16 to 20 will be critically injured.This has designed the car insurance premium quite superior for the youthful drivers. As a teenager, it is natural to really feel frustrated and aggravated with the sky significant auto insurance coverage costs. You are giving up your pocket money or your very difficult earned funds to be capable to have the substantially essential car or truck to spend for your automobile insurance coverage. I agree with you that it is not fair and you require low-cost auto insurance policy charges. The solution to this is correct in your very own fingers - check out out for teen automobile insurance plan quote. You can attain low-cost vehicle insurance quote.Insurance coverage is the centered on the principle of law of huge numbers and so you are each at an benefit and disadvantage. If the claims are minimal for the insurance coverage firm than the prices for car insurance plan are decreased. On the other hand, if the statements are superior the insurance plan prices are larger. The insurance companies are also conserving on their operational price by way of world-wide-web advertising and this low cost is being passed to the customer. This is the major reasons why you can obtain a low cost auto insurance coverage quote on the web. Some insurance corporations who stimulate on line business enterprise are even offering very good savings to pass on the advantage of their cost savings to the clientele.Teenagers are sensible and so you will not be trapped into paying out bigger premiums. Internet promotion which has produced almost everything inside of the simple get to of the youth may make this also simple, effortless, risk-free and confidential for you. Students are very secure going on the internet and in search of information. Sitting at your very own operating desk, within the privacy of your personal place -verify out and receive the teen car insurance plan quotes. You will get five-6 estimates from common insurance businesses, no agents, no hassles no private nudging concerns. With a click on of mouse, who will get to the right location for the automobile insurance coverage quote.
Sunday, June 19, 2011
Happy Father's Day
I would like to take this opportunity to wish all fathers a very happy Father's Day. May God bless all fathers with good health, success and happiness. Here, I would like to write about my feeling to my father. However I don't think my father will read this blog post. I actually would like to email him but I'm too afraid to do so. Daddy, I thank you for sending me to and from school everyday. Though you always grumble, I can still be patient with you. I actually do not mean to hate you, daddy. However your attitude makes me hate you so much. Please change your adulterous attitude. Please do not commit this sin as it displeases God. Daddy, you are a great hero to me and bro. We all love you. Please be a responsible father. Don't be hypocrite. I always quarrel with you as you always scold and be harsh to us. However I don't mean to raise my voice to you. I want to be a good child but I want and urge you to be a good daddy first. Be loving and kind to our family and please don't beat mum. I'll always pray for you. Hope you will be filled by the power of the Holy Spirit. Hope you will be happy today. I'm sorry I'm writing this. This is how and where I can express my feeling. Please don't misunderstand me dear readers. Please don't gossip behind me. Therefore, I would like to advice all fathers to love the family and do not mistreat the family. Happy Blessed Father's Day to all fathers. God bless. Dear readers, if you have any comment, please email me at "wangtheen@gmail.com". I don't mean to be angry today. Thanks.
Saturday, June 18, 2011
Importance of emotion and motivation for success and happiness
Emotion and motivation plays an important role in success
Emotion and motivation go together hand in hand. Indeed, emotions play an important part in our lives, and even more so in self improvement. Often times,
successful people are those who know how to take control of their emotions and use it to their benefit.
The best sportsmen and women are able to stay calm in the heat of the competition. And whenever they meet setbacks, they usually come right back immediately
with a crushing performance and winning streak.
According to Napolean Hill in his book ‘Think and Grow Rich’, when emotion and desire are used together , it creates a very powerful manifesting energy.
Emotion and motivation energizes your desire and gives it power and momentum. With emotion and motivation, your true power of intent will shine through.
When used wisely, your emotion and motivation can be a powerful force which helps you achieve great things. With most people living their lives being controlled
by emotions, I guess it’s quite obvious that emotions are more than just ‘fleeting feelings’.
Many times the actions that we choose to take or not take are due to our emotions. We choose our actions based on what emotion we want to experience, and
what emotions we want to avoid.
For example, when you were a kid, what determined whether you’d put up your hand to answer the teacher’s question? It depends on what you want more. To
get the pleasure & recognition from answering the question correctly, or to avoid the embarrassment of answering wrongly?
Or you have an idea to improve your company’s performance. If your idea is accepted, you’ll get recognition & praise, however on the other hand, it might
be rejected. If you can’t handle the hurt and rejection, that idea is just gonna stay in your head forever. If you want to take control of your life, you’ve
got to master the skill of controlling emotions.
Are you emotionally empty?
How many emotions do you feel daily? Do you get excited? Happy? Passionate? Confident? Cheerful? Energetic? Do you get those emotional highs frequently?
Do you experience a variety of emotions daily? Or do you only experience a few. Compare what you experience on a weekly basis against the full list of
human emotions that we're capable of experiencing. That will give you an idea of what you’re missing.
If you realize that you only experience a limited number of emotions, and it’s intensity is quite weak, you might be a little emotionally shut off. There’s
nothing wrong with that. Everyone has their own personality, and there are many people who naturally do not show much emotion.
However, having said that, more often than not people are emotionally shut off because they unconsciously learned to do so. They form habits which encourage
this emotional void, and it’s from modeling the people around them, from trying to be ‘polite’ & have ‘good manners’, from having to act as a ‘serious’
adult.
I’m not advocating that we should all go back to the innocence of acting like children. But as a society, I think we can tone down on the ‘seriousness’
of our lifestyles. Be more balanced. We must always remember that we are humans not robots, and that life is too short to be serious all the time.
With people avoiding emotions because they cannot handle it, and our society seemingly encouraging us to not show much emotion, it’s little wonder that
so many of us are emotionally empty. It’s tough, but you would want to avoid being in that category. I’ve said it before that emotion and motivation goes
together. Your emotions give your life juice and color.
Good news….
The good news is we can learn how to handle our emotions. We can learn the ways of dealing with negative emotions. So no matter what happens, instead of
focusing on the perceived negativity of these emotions, we learn to understand what its’ messages are and take the necessary action. We won’t allow the
negative emotions traumatize us anymore.
It is the same for panic attacks, which are very intense emotions of fear and paranioa. With the proper appraoch and knowledge, we can learn how to stop
panic attacks.
Once you have learned how to deal with negative emotions, you’ll welcome emotions rather than avoid them. You will start to experience emotions more intensely.
To accelerate yourself to success, you would want to cultivate a habit of consistently experiencing a set of positive emotions.
Top success coach Tony Robbins identified 10 power emotions that we should cultivate daily in his wonderful book Awaken the Giant Within. The 10 power
emotions are ;
1. Love & Warmth
2. Appreciation & gratitude
3. Curiosity – then you can grow and learn through life
4. Excitement & passion
5. Determination
6. Flexibility
7. Confidence – through the power of faith
8. Cheerfulness – there is a big difference in being happy inside, and showing it outside. It enhances self esteem, makes life more fun, make others happier
9. Vitality – if you don’t take care of your body, it’s hard to take care of your emotions
10. Contribution
90% of the actions we take are the result of our habits. Often times, we need to be reminded more than we need to be taught. Knowing what emotions we should
cultivate is not enough, we must make it a point to make it a part of our lives. A new lifestyle.
Start with one emotion per week. Start from the top of the list. For the next 7 days, try to experience as much love and warmth in whatever you do. Write
‘love & warmth’ in on a piece of paper & bring it everywhere you go. Associate the emotion with something that you use daily, like your watch, spectacles,
hands etc so that whenever you see your watch, you’ll be reminded to experience love and warmth.
Keep in mind that you do not need a spectacular thing to happen before you can experience love & warmth. Things that are common doesn’t mean it is not
valuable. You can experience love & warmth from simple actions like talking with your partner, hanging out with friends, walking in the park, observing
the laughter around you…. It’s everywhere. It’s just that we forgot to notice and appreciate it.
Final thoughts…..
Emotion and motivation brings such rich texture and color to our lives. Living a life void of emotions is like only being half alive. If you’re serious
about success and happiness, you will need to show up 100%. And that means it’s time other half of you, your emotions, show up.
I’ll finish off with this, if you find it hard to cultivate good emotions because you feel you’re constantly getting distracted by work / stuff / life……
I have one advice for you : That’s not an excuse!
As achievers we make things happen, we don’t wait for breaks. You go make whatever your situation is have love, appreciation, excitement etc…. No matter
how bleak, there’s always a way. The first few days will be tough, but once you start to gain momentum, you’ll snowball your way to an exciting, colorful
life. This is how emotion and motivation can change your life.
Good luck!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
More resource on emotions
What are emotions - Understand what are emotions. Know more about this thing that has such power and control over our lives and the decisions we make
Managing emotions - There are many factors that contributes to a person's success but there is none that is more significant than managing emotions
How to control emotions - Discover a quick 4 steps process on how to control emotions and anger
There are many factors that contribute to a person's success but none more significant than emotions.
You may be the smartest, most experienced person in the world but if you can't stay away from negative emotions and get into resourceful states, all that
potential will not get you anywhere.
"Never Lose Control Again" by Self-Improvement-Mentor is the complete guide on mastering your emotions and breaking free from negative emotions. Learn
the all encompassing approach for total emotional mastery.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Go to the top of Emotion and Motivation
Emotion and motivation go together hand in hand. Indeed, emotions play an important part in our lives, and even more so in self improvement. Often times,
successful people are those who know how to take control of their emotions and use it to their benefit.
The best sportsmen and women are able to stay calm in the heat of the competition. And whenever they meet setbacks, they usually come right back immediately
with a crushing performance and winning streak.
According to Napolean Hill in his book ‘Think and Grow Rich’, when emotion and desire are used together , it creates a very powerful manifesting energy.
Emotion and motivation energizes your desire and gives it power and momentum. With emotion and motivation, your true power of intent will shine through.
When used wisely, your emotion and motivation can be a powerful force which helps you achieve great things. With most people living their lives being controlled
by emotions, I guess it’s quite obvious that emotions are more than just ‘fleeting feelings’.
Many times the actions that we choose to take or not take are due to our emotions. We choose our actions based on what emotion we want to experience, and
what emotions we want to avoid.
For example, when you were a kid, what determined whether you’d put up your hand to answer the teacher’s question? It depends on what you want more. To
get the pleasure & recognition from answering the question correctly, or to avoid the embarrassment of answering wrongly?
Or you have an idea to improve your company’s performance. If your idea is accepted, you’ll get recognition & praise, however on the other hand, it might
be rejected. If you can’t handle the hurt and rejection, that idea is just gonna stay in your head forever. If you want to take control of your life, you’ve
got to master the skill of controlling emotions.
Are you emotionally empty?
How many emotions do you feel daily? Do you get excited? Happy? Passionate? Confident? Cheerful? Energetic? Do you get those emotional highs frequently?
Do you experience a variety of emotions daily? Or do you only experience a few. Compare what you experience on a weekly basis against the full list of
human emotions that we're capable of experiencing. That will give you an idea of what you’re missing.
If you realize that you only experience a limited number of emotions, and it’s intensity is quite weak, you might be a little emotionally shut off. There’s
nothing wrong with that. Everyone has their own personality, and there are many people who naturally do not show much emotion.
However, having said that, more often than not people are emotionally shut off because they unconsciously learned to do so. They form habits which encourage
this emotional void, and it’s from modeling the people around them, from trying to be ‘polite’ & have ‘good manners’, from having to act as a ‘serious’
adult.
I’m not advocating that we should all go back to the innocence of acting like children. But as a society, I think we can tone down on the ‘seriousness’
of our lifestyles. Be more balanced. We must always remember that we are humans not robots, and that life is too short to be serious all the time.
With people avoiding emotions because they cannot handle it, and our society seemingly encouraging us to not show much emotion, it’s little wonder that
so many of us are emotionally empty. It’s tough, but you would want to avoid being in that category. I’ve said it before that emotion and motivation goes
together. Your emotions give your life juice and color.
Good news….
The good news is we can learn how to handle our emotions. We can learn the ways of dealing with negative emotions. So no matter what happens, instead of
focusing on the perceived negativity of these emotions, we learn to understand what its’ messages are and take the necessary action. We won’t allow the
negative emotions traumatize us anymore.
It is the same for panic attacks, which are very intense emotions of fear and paranioa. With the proper appraoch and knowledge, we can learn how to stop
panic attacks.
Once you have learned how to deal with negative emotions, you’ll welcome emotions rather than avoid them. You will start to experience emotions more intensely.
To accelerate yourself to success, you would want to cultivate a habit of consistently experiencing a set of positive emotions.
Top success coach Tony Robbins identified 10 power emotions that we should cultivate daily in his wonderful book Awaken the Giant Within. The 10 power
emotions are ;
1. Love & Warmth
2. Appreciation & gratitude
3. Curiosity – then you can grow and learn through life
4. Excitement & passion
5. Determination
6. Flexibility
7. Confidence – through the power of faith
8. Cheerfulness – there is a big difference in being happy inside, and showing it outside. It enhances self esteem, makes life more fun, make others happier
9. Vitality – if you don’t take care of your body, it’s hard to take care of your emotions
10. Contribution
90% of the actions we take are the result of our habits. Often times, we need to be reminded more than we need to be taught. Knowing what emotions we should
cultivate is not enough, we must make it a point to make it a part of our lives. A new lifestyle.
Start with one emotion per week. Start from the top of the list. For the next 7 days, try to experience as much love and warmth in whatever you do. Write
‘love & warmth’ in on a piece of paper & bring it everywhere you go. Associate the emotion with something that you use daily, like your watch, spectacles,
hands etc so that whenever you see your watch, you’ll be reminded to experience love and warmth.
Keep in mind that you do not need a spectacular thing to happen before you can experience love & warmth. Things that are common doesn’t mean it is not
valuable. You can experience love & warmth from simple actions like talking with your partner, hanging out with friends, walking in the park, observing
the laughter around you…. It’s everywhere. It’s just that we forgot to notice and appreciate it.
Final thoughts…..
Emotion and motivation brings such rich texture and color to our lives. Living a life void of emotions is like only being half alive. If you’re serious
about success and happiness, you will need to show up 100%. And that means it’s time other half of you, your emotions, show up.
I’ll finish off with this, if you find it hard to cultivate good emotions because you feel you’re constantly getting distracted by work / stuff / life……
I have one advice for you : That’s not an excuse!
As achievers we make things happen, we don’t wait for breaks. You go make whatever your situation is have love, appreciation, excitement etc…. No matter
how bleak, there’s always a way. The first few days will be tough, but once you start to gain momentum, you’ll snowball your way to an exciting, colorful
life. This is how emotion and motivation can change your life.
Good luck!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
More resource on emotions
What are emotions - Understand what are emotions. Know more about this thing that has such power and control over our lives and the decisions we make
Managing emotions - There are many factors that contributes to a person's success but there is none that is more significant than managing emotions
How to control emotions - Discover a quick 4 steps process on how to control emotions and anger
There are many factors that contribute to a person's success but none more significant than emotions.
You may be the smartest, most experienced person in the world but if you can't stay away from negative emotions and get into resourceful states, all that
potential will not get you anywhere.
"Never Lose Control Again" by Self-Improvement-Mentor is the complete guide on mastering your emotions and breaking free from negative emotions. Learn
the all encompassing approach for total emotional mastery.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Go to the top of Emotion and Motivation
20 Anger Management Tips
The term ‘anger management’ is used to acknowledge that anger is an inevitable, natural human emotion. It is not about getting rid of anger; rather it
is about dealing with those emotions so you can express your anger more productively.
Consider the following tips and ideas to assist you in managing your anger:
1. Keep a journal. Such reflection helps you become aware of your anger patterns and as such enables you to do something about them. When thinking about
your anger, consider the following:
How long does each anger episode last?
How do you express anger?
How often do you become angry?
What triggered your anger?
How do you feel physically?
How do you feel emotionally?
What do you do when other people get angry with you?
Gaining awareness puts you into a position to think about what you would like to do differently. What is a more productive way to respond?
2. Accept that you do not always have to be right.
3. Learn acceptance of yourself and others.
4. Realise you cannot control the world. You may say “they can’t do that to me”. Actually they can and they did (whether it is right or not).
5. Own your anger rather than blaming the other person for your anger. You have chosen to respond the way you have and this has led to you feeling the
way you do.
6. Learn to express your feelings when someone has upset you. So try “I feel angry because of what you just said to me”, rather than saying, “that has
made me angry”.
7. Try forgiveness. Let go of anger from your past.
8. Learn how to compromise and accept it is not the end of the world.
9. Count down from 100 until you feel the anger has passed and you are in control once more.
10. Learn ‘thought stopping’. This is useful when you continue to go over and over a particular episode that caused you to feel angry. Consciously stop
yourself thinking those thoughts, by saying and thinking ‘STOP’ to yourself.
11. Be assertive. Learn to say what you want and express how you feel, without resorting to verbal or physical abuse.
12. Exercise or do something physical to help release the emotions.
13. Learn how to relax.
14. Listen to the other person and try to see things from their point of view.
15. Learn the right way to resolve conflict.
16. Learn to manage stress.
17. Learn to problem solve:
a) define your problem;
b) choose your goal;
c) brainstorm possibilities and solutions;
d) consider the consequences of each possibility;
e) choose the most appropriate solution;
f) plan and implement your chosen solution;
g) evaluate the outcome.
18. Change your thinking. Thoughts such as ‘never’, ‘always’, ‘must’, ‘have to’ are not realistic and are not helpful. You put a lot of burden on yourself
and others when you think this way. Challenge these thoughts and construct more realistic alternatives.
19. See a counsellor.
20. Attend an anger management group
is about dealing with those emotions so you can express your anger more productively.
Consider the following tips and ideas to assist you in managing your anger:
1. Keep a journal. Such reflection helps you become aware of your anger patterns and as such enables you to do something about them. When thinking about
your anger, consider the following:
How long does each anger episode last?
How do you express anger?
How often do you become angry?
What triggered your anger?
How do you feel physically?
How do you feel emotionally?
What do you do when other people get angry with you?
Gaining awareness puts you into a position to think about what you would like to do differently. What is a more productive way to respond?
2. Accept that you do not always have to be right.
3. Learn acceptance of yourself and others.
4. Realise you cannot control the world. You may say “they can’t do that to me”. Actually they can and they did (whether it is right or not).
5. Own your anger rather than blaming the other person for your anger. You have chosen to respond the way you have and this has led to you feeling the
way you do.
6. Learn to express your feelings when someone has upset you. So try “I feel angry because of what you just said to me”, rather than saying, “that has
made me angry”.
7. Try forgiveness. Let go of anger from your past.
8. Learn how to compromise and accept it is not the end of the world.
9. Count down from 100 until you feel the anger has passed and you are in control once more.
10. Learn ‘thought stopping’. This is useful when you continue to go over and over a particular episode that caused you to feel angry. Consciously stop
yourself thinking those thoughts, by saying and thinking ‘STOP’ to yourself.
11. Be assertive. Learn to say what you want and express how you feel, without resorting to verbal or physical abuse.
12. Exercise or do something physical to help release the emotions.
13. Learn how to relax.
14. Listen to the other person and try to see things from their point of view.
15. Learn the right way to resolve conflict.
16. Learn to manage stress.
17. Learn to problem solve:
a) define your problem;
b) choose your goal;
c) brainstorm possibilities and solutions;
d) consider the consequences of each possibility;
e) choose the most appropriate solution;
f) plan and implement your chosen solution;
g) evaluate the outcome.
18. Change your thinking. Thoughts such as ‘never’, ‘always’, ‘must’, ‘have to’ are not realistic and are not helpful. You put a lot of burden on yourself
and others when you think this way. Challenge these thoughts and construct more realistic alternatives.
19. See a counsellor.
20. Attend an anger management group
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
Life Challenges Part 2
Today, I would like to share my experiences and ask some questions. I'm wondering whether we can be perfect men and women. I'm confused. How to be a perfectionist? Some of my teachers, for example my piano and History teachers, want every student to be perfect in their lessons. However now I've stopped learning piano. My piano teacher often told me that I should be perfect when playing: without mistakes. How? Should I be perfect? No one is perfect in this world, right? That's why we all make mistakes. Now, about pride and humbleness. The Bible tells us to be humble in the Lord in every action that we are doing. However some people say I should be proud if I get the best results in my studies or piano. Should I be? Some people are proud until they don't need friends to talk too. This is not a good attitude. They think that they can always be the best and start to look down on others' abilities. They also try to discourage others with their abilities. I'm really confused about whether to be proud or humble. Some people say we cannot be too humble in life. Now, I'm still confused between independence and dependence on the Lord. Should we be independent or depend on the Lord? Now, about my life as a blind student. I'm currently studying in Upper 6 and going through many challenges. As a student, I always have to Braille notes on my own and ask my mum to read for me. Some of my classmates are not willing to help. They don't understand how I feel as a blind student. Some of my teachers are also trying to accuse me. I've to do double or triple work and I've to put more effort than normal students. I've to scan all my books and edit them. One of my teachers told me that as a blind student, I should be studying more than others who can see. It's true. However I'm doubtful whether the teacher meant that I shouldn't rest or sleep enough? Should I put too much pressure on myself? Is pressure good? Pressure can be good but too much pressure will cause harm to us no matter a student or working adult. I'm also confused about human's behaviour. I'm wondering how come this world is full of sin. I've questions that are hard to answer even by pastor. 1. How to love others? 2. How to love our enemies? 3. How to forgive others who have hurt us? 4. How do I know whether a person is good or bad? 5. How to change my mentality and be a positive thinker? 6. Why is it easy for some people to love others whereas some find it difficult to do so? All these questions I've been wondering for years and have not found the answers. I guess the answers are within myself. I also feel disappointed with my MUET result. I obtained grade 3 and each time during the exam, I always obtain the same grade. The highest and the best grade is 6. I've to work hard but I don't know how to plan my timetable. I injured my right leg last Friday. I fell down and twisted my leg and is still swollen now. I've not been going to school for 3 days and I'll be going to school tomorrow. Today, I feel angry and do not have peace in my heart. Actually I've lots of family problems however it's not good to share here. I can share generally here. I hate my mum and dad. I always quarrel with her. When I want to talk to her, she gets angry and I'll be even more angry. When I'm angry, I'll say, "I hate you mum." and I'll start hitting myself, banging the table and cry. My mum hurts me a lot with her words. She doesn't understand my feeling. She doesn't allow me to tell or share problems. She doesn't allow me to talk on the phone. Yesterday, when my pastor called me, she was angry with me. She keeps nagging and telling me that now I just need to focus on one thing: and the one thing is studies or STPM. I dislike my mum. She says I cannot rest and talk out my problems. almost everyday she says this. I totally disagree with my mum that when I've problems, I should just let them go and start studying as she also shares her own problems with others. I am getting hot now and that's why I post this here. I don't care if my mum would read this blog post however I don't hope she will scold me. I feel that my mum doesn't love me even though she reads notes to me. I also hate my dad as he is hypocrite. Sometimes I feel like running away from home but this doesn't solve my problems. My mum said because I'm blind, I've no friends or have little friends. I disagree with what she said. She said I'm useless, hopeless and stupid when things don't go well. I'm discouraged by my mum. I also feel depressed to go to school as there are many irresponsible and illogical teachers. In class, I'm the only Chinese and I find that I'm treated unfairly. I'm not a happy person and sometimes I just force myself to be happy and smile. When I don't have peace, I'll listen to Christian music but I'll still think of the problems. Sometimes I feel like dying and don't want to live anymore. However it keeps reminding me that there are many people who have worst problems than me. Some people say I should trust myself. Does it mean that I don't need to trust others? I feel that I'm not precious. I need help from pastors and trusted adults or friends. Please pray for me. Please give your comments via email at "wangtheen@gmail.com". That's all for today.
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
I'm confused about life challenges.
I'm confused about many things in life. I'm so sorry to always post negative and sad feelings to my blog as I think that I'm a sad person. I feel that we all should try to put ourselves in others' shoes. That way we can understand one's feeling and empathise them. It's good to put ourselves in others' shoes so as we will feel the burden of others. I'm worried about many things: family, studies, friends, future, etc. I do not know why I cannot stop worrying. Some people even asked me " why do you worry so much? Is it your nature to worry?" How come life is full of pressure? The society is broken. We live in a sinful society. Now, about independent. Some people who are independent think that they can do all thing by themselves and therefore do not need others in their lives. They are proud of themselves and not caring towards others' needs. Some people who are independent are very individualistic. I'm confused. Is independent associated to individualistic? I feel that being individualistic isn't a good thing as we are only being selfish to ourselves. However if we are independent, we are able to help others. Some independent countries have neglected religions. They stop to obey God's words. Is independent good? I feel that I'm not independent. I'm sometimes too dependent on others until some of my friends say that I'm too demanding. Does independent mean that we should carry all our burdens ourselves? My pastor once told me that our dependence on men can be very disappointing. However if we depend on the Lord, it can be a joy to us. So we should always depend on the Lord and ask Him to show His way to us.Is independent also associated to freedom? Some say that freedom can be a bad thing as we choose to get free by committing sins. Sometimes I feel that when one has too much freedom she or he will get out of control and does things she or he likes best and therefore neglects others.I'm really confused. I'm now in upper 6 and I still need to depend on my parents and need their support. In the future, I cannot depend on them anymore. In return I need to take care of them. I'm wondering whether staying with parents is a good thing. I cannot survive on my own. I need God to help me. Although I need to learn to depend on the Lord, I'm still desperate as sometimes I really need to talk out my burdens to trusted persons. Actually my mum put a lot of hope on my family. I actually hate being blind but I have to accept myself. Sometimes, I'm afraid of challenges in life. My mum says if I can see I can be a doctor and I can drive. None of my mum's children is a doctor and she feels so desperate. Because I'm blind now, my mum wants me to be a teacher. Actually I do not know what are my interests. I actually prefer to be a counselor but I've lots of problems and I think It's hard for me to counsel others. I'm worried that I cannot enter the university after my STPM. I want to study hard for 8 hours at home per day but I have limitations. I hope in June I can study from 2 to 6 p.m. non-stop and from 8 to 11 p.m. but it's quite impossible. However my mum wants me to do that. How? I want to make my mum happy.My teacher told me that a form 6 student should only sleep for 5 hours a day. Is that true? When is the best time to sleep? Even my piano teacher urge me to get 95 marks and above for my grade 8 piano examination next week. She says it's important to be famous. However my pastor told me that what's the use of being famous but one is not happy?That's why most of the time I cannot be happy when playing piano. I feel stressful learning music. I feel that we should do things for God. I should learn to live for myself but not to live for others. But I'm confused. Is living for ourselves good? Isn't it a heart of selfishness? I thought love is sacrificing and self-giving? I feel that I'm not really a strong person. I cry a lot when facing problems. Is crying Good? When I pray, sometimes I'll cry to God especially when I'm alone at home. I often ask God and others what's the motive we live in this world? Does God want us to suffer in this sinful world? I'm really confused. My pastor advice me to ask the Lord to give me strength. "O Lord, please help me in times of adversity. Please give me strength and peace. Help me to trust in you with all my heart and soul. Protect my family so that they will not fall." Actually when I talk to God in prayer I feel better and God wants us to have closer relationships with Him. I really hope that I will be more optimistic in life.I'm also always careless when doing things. Once a stranger called home when I was alone at home. The stranger asked for all information about my parents such as their names, house address, telephone numbers, etc. So I gave them. My parents, upon knowing this, got so angry with me. I should learn to be more careful in the future. I should never give personal informations to a stranger.I find that sharing problems to a man is better than sharing them to a woman. I find that when I share my problems with men, they are a better listener than women. That's whyI prefer to share problems with boys. Dear readers, please pray for me. That's all for my sharing today.
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