I'm confused about life challenges.

I'm confused about many things in life. I'm so sorry to always post negative and sad feelings to my blog as I think that I'm a sad person. I feel that we all should try to put ourselves in others' shoes. That way we can understand one's feeling and empathise them. It's good to put ourselves in others' shoes so as we will feel the burden of others. I'm worried about many things: family, studies, friends, future, etc. I do not know why I cannot stop worrying. Some people even asked me " why do you worry so much? Is it your nature to worry?" How come life is full of pressure? The society is broken. We live in a sinful society. Now, about independent. Some people who are independent think that they can do all thing by themselves and therefore do not need others in their lives. They are proud of themselves and not caring towards others' needs. Some people who are independent are very individualistic. I'm confused. Is independent associated to individualistic? I feel that being individualistic isn't a good thing as we are only being selfish to ourselves. However if we are independent, we are able to help others. Some independent countries have neglected religions. They stop to obey God's words. Is independent good? I feel that I'm not independent. I'm sometimes too dependent on others until some of my friends say that I'm too demanding. Does independent mean that we should carry all our burdens ourselves? My pastor once told me that our dependence on men can be very disappointing. However if we depend on the Lord, it can be a joy to us. So we should always depend on the Lord and ask Him to show His way to us.Is independent also associated to freedom? Some say that freedom can be a bad thing as we choose to get free by committing sins. Sometimes I feel that when one has too much freedom she or he will get out of control and does things she or he likes best and therefore neglects others.I'm really confused. I'm now in upper 6 and I still need to depend on my parents and need their support. In the future, I cannot depend on them anymore. In return I need to take care of them. I'm wondering whether staying with parents is a good thing. I cannot survive on my own. I need God to help me. Although I need to learn to depend on the Lord, I'm still desperate as sometimes I really need to talk out my burdens to trusted persons. Actually my mum put a lot of hope on my family. I actually hate being blind but I have to accept myself. Sometimes, I'm afraid of challenges in life. My mum says if I can see I can be a doctor and I can drive. None of my mum's children is a doctor and she feels so desperate. Because I'm blind now, my mum wants me to be a teacher. Actually I do not know what are my interests. I actually prefer to be a counselor but I've lots of problems and I think It's hard for me to counsel others. I'm worried that I cannot enter the university after my STPM. I want to study hard for 8 hours at home per day but I have limitations. I hope in June I can study from 2 to 6 p.m. non-stop and from 8 to 11 p.m. but it's quite impossible. However my mum wants me to do that. How? I want to make my mum happy.My teacher told me that a form 6 student should only sleep for 5 hours a day. Is that true? When is the best time to sleep? Even my piano teacher urge me to get 95 marks and above for my grade 8 piano examination next week. She says it's important to be famous. However my pastor told me that what's the use of being famous but one is not happy?That's why most of the time I cannot be happy when playing piano. I feel stressful learning music. I feel that we should do things for God. I should learn to live for myself but not to live for others. But I'm confused. Is living for ourselves good? Isn't it a heart of selfishness? I thought love is sacrificing and self-giving? I feel that I'm not really a strong person. I cry a lot when facing problems. Is crying Good? When I pray, sometimes I'll cry to God especially when I'm alone at home. I often ask God and others what's the motive we live in this world? Does God want us to suffer in this sinful world? I'm really confused. My pastor advice me to ask the Lord to give me strength. "O Lord, please help me in times of adversity. Please give me strength and peace. Help me to trust in you with all my heart and soul. Protect my family so that they will not fall." Actually when I talk to God in prayer I feel better and God wants us to have closer relationships with Him. I really hope that I will be more optimistic in life.I'm also always careless when doing things. Once a stranger called home when I was alone at home. The stranger asked for all information about my parents such as their names, house address, telephone numbers, etc. So I gave them. My parents, upon knowing this, got so angry with me. I should learn to be more careful in the future. I should never give personal informations to a stranger.I find that sharing problems to a man is better than sharing them to a woman. I find that when I share my problems with men, they are a better listener than women. That's whyI prefer to share problems with boys. Dear readers, please pray for me. That's all for my sharing today.