My Experience In My Workplace

Dear readers,
I'm so sorry for not posting for almost 1 and half weeks. My laptop was infected by 2 types of viruses and was sent to the shop for repair. I just got it back last night..Before the first day of my work, I slept late that night. I went to bed aroun 12 am.. I talked to someone to alleviate my worries. On the first day of my work, I was really worried. I was afraid of the challenges to come and facing my colleagues. The first 3 days, I was working as a telephonist. Even to answer phone calls, I was afraid. I worried how to convey messages. I worried whether I enterpreted the .messages wrongly. Since the office telephone do not have extension line, I've to seek help from my colleagues to shout to my boss when passing the line. People said my voice is too soft. I can't change my voice. I'd operation before.. First day of my work already have lots of challenges. Now, I understand what is life.. What are the sufferings that we may face in our workplace. Lots of problems.. Problems?? racism, unfairness, gossiping, sexual harrassment, greed for money, and so on.. Some of my colleagues are not friendly and some are lazy.. I thought work is fun at first but later on I found I began to dislike my workplace.. I'm going to pour my anger here as I've no one to talk to now.. But one thing is needed dear readers. Please keep whatever I've shared confidentially. Thanks for your cooperation.. While waiting for my STPM result, I'm working at Sarawak Society for the Blind as a telephonist in the morning and a teacher in the afternoon. Work is so stressful.. This boss says this thing and that boss says another thing.. Not only that,.. I'm bullied.. Since I'm teaching the adults who are blind, they bully me to do everything for them.. They have lots of suggestions and want me to listen to them. I've headache and feel sick.. My boss even asked me about my family and I just told her everything she asked.. In the end, after I told her I even worry when to wash my hair, I was given a name" miss worry". My boss told everyone I'm a miss worry. I feel that not everyone can be trusted.. Why people can't shut their mouth? Hey.. stop please... Not only that. I'm angry.. Colleagues and boss says I'm very thin. I've lost 4 kg,, definitely I know but please keep quiet. You don't have to tell everyone that I've lost 4 kg and feed me with all sorts of food.. My colleagus only love to eat but dislike to work.. I dislike to hear their gossiping about my boss.. As a teacher, I've to teach by holding their hands when writing abc's in braille. I'm teaching braille and computer.. My female boss says I've to teach braille first and just concentrate on braille first while my male boss says I've to take turn: one day teach braille and the next day teach computer.. I don't know which advise to listen. and my female boss keep changing her mind.. This gives me headache.. and, students are very stubborn.. They don't come on time.. When work start at 2 pm, they come 15 minutes or 1 hour later.. I feel so upset but hard to advise them.. I've advised them but they refuse to listen. how? complain to my boss? have to find sometime. When I teach, I've to teach one by one and not only that. I've to teach a girl who is not only blind but at the same time death and mentally retarted,. She's slow learner and hard to be taught as she doesn't understand what I teach. She often laugh by herself and cry after laughing.. and, she bang the table and scold people around.. She tear the paper.. I've headache and stressed out. I don't know how to deal with her. I'm asked to take care of her and sit next to her.. I'm afraid of her as I tried to hold her shoulder when talking to her but she doesn't respond.. how? My colleagues and students said everything is my responsibility.. I've to teach her even she has lots of disabilities.. Sometimes, I feel like not teaching her but I can't as I feel guilty.. I've lots of students to pay attention to. Now, I understand that teachers can't pay attention to me as they have many students to pay attention to. I'm an untrain teacher.. so, the first day of my teaching, I didn't teach well so students did not want to attend my class the next day till now.. Why don't they give me a chance to improve? How am I going to take attendants? I've to take attendants, switch on and off the aircon and fan and light, arrange the chairs and tables, prepare matterials for them, walk up and down the stairs few times to get things for them, and,above all, I've to stand up when teaching.. I've no time to sit down.. Everyone is calling on me. Even, I've to help them punch hole for their file and papers. Students can do all these things by themselves. But they just bully me.. and, I've to listen to their advice.. students, I know you are older than me.. but you all have showed disrespect to me... don't you all think I'm angry? When I teach you, I patiently teach and I don't scold when you ask questions many many times. I just keep the anger to myself.. But now, I can't stand. I feel so disappointed with your character.. After c n y, the number of students will be increased. how??? stress stress stress... some ppl want this and some want that.. how???? I fell like crying out but I can't cry.. These challenges have taught me to be strong.. and, I'm not given a payment for my work.. I don't mind to work as a volunteer but ppl are over demanding and taking advantage of me.. Some kind people have donated ang pau to the centre regarding to c n y. My colleagues are very greedy. They said words that can hurt me much. not only that. They even harrassed me.. They are female colleagues.. They pulled my jeans and touched my private part.. Few month ago, a male touched my private part and I told my colleague.. That male called my colleague saying he was just joking with me.. How can this be? Of course ppl won't admit when they are doing something embarrassing, right??? I'm confused. this is serious.. what should I do?? My father is one of the committee at the centre. should I tell him? what if he tell the boss, won't the boss scold them and my colleagues will scold me back and do not want to talk to me???? I don't mind if ppl comfort me by holding my hand and shoulder when I'm sad or down.. but this is different. ppl are taking advantage of me.. How to say "no" to ppl who aren't doing something right??? I'm going to stop thinking about problems in my workplace now since tomorrow is the first day of c n y and I'm given one-week holiday. I'm going to enjoy my holiday.. I felt sick last Thursday as I had a bad cough, flu, sorethroat, pain here and their and tiredness. I went to bed early around 9 pm.. How to solve tiredness?? Why does God give me lots of challenges? I also aim for perfection as I'm worried my boss aim for perfection. When I take attendants, I made sure their is no typing error, and I like everything to be done fast.. Some colleagues are very hypocrites but not to mention their names... They only are good to me when my father is around... Lots of problems at Blind Centre. how? Last Friday, I knocked a blind man as I was holding a tray when throwing rubbish.. The curry spilled off my jeans and shirt and I'd to go home.. The chef is so helpful. She told me since I'm new, she can help me wash and throw rubbish but I feel embarrassed to do so.. but this is to avoid incidents happening.. Sometimes, I've to learn to survive. The aircon is too cold at blind centre but I'm afraid to tell my boss and colleagues.. I thought I've to learn to survive?? should I tell if I need anything? I'm not used to use a big tray when eating.. I'm very quiet in my workplace. When I do my work my principe is "work more and talk less".. Sometimes, a talkative person may gossip others. I'm not sure if my colleagues gossip me but I guess I do work to please the Lord.. Never mind, God is by my side.. How to overcome stress in work????this is all for now. Happy Chinese New Year to all..
God bless and have a wonderfull holiday.