Sunday, September 11, 2011

Think you are having a bad day?

Fire authorities in California found a corpse in a burned-out section of forest
while assessing the damage done by a forest fire. The deceased male was dressed
in a full wet suit, complete with scuba tanks on his back, flippers,
and face mask.
A postmortem test revealed that the man died not from burns, but from
massive internal
injuries. Dental records provided a positive identification. Investigators then
set about to determine how a fully clothed diver ended up in the
middle of a forest
fire.
It was revealed that on the day of the fire, the man went diving off the coast,
some 20 miles from the forest. The fire fighters, seeking to control the fire
as quickly as possible, had called in a fleet of helicopters with very large dip
buckets. Water was dipped from the ocean and emptied at the site of the forest
fire.
You guessed it. One minute our diver was making like Flipper in the Pacific, the
next, he was doing the breast stroke in a fire dip bucket 300 feet in the air.
Some days it just doesn't pay to get out of bed. but keep reading....
Still think you 're having a bad day?
A man was working on his motorcycle on the patio, his wife nearby in
the kitchen.
While racing the engine, the motorcycle accidentally slipped into gear. The man,
still holding onto the handlebars, was dragged along as it burst
through the glass
patio doors.
His wife, hearing the crash, ran in the room to find her husband cut
and bleeding,
the motorcycle, and the shattered patio door. She called for an ambulance and,
because the house sat on a fairly large hill, went down the several
flights of stairs
to meet the paramedics and escort them to her husband.
While the attendants were loading her husband, the wife managed to
right the motorcycle
and push it outside. She also quickly blotted up the spilled gasoline with some
paper towels and tossed them into the toilet.
After being treated and released, the man returned home, looked at the shattered
patio door and the damage done to his motorcycle. He went into the bathroom and
consoled himself with a cigarette while attending to his business.
About to stand, he flipped the butt between his legs.
The wife, who was in the kitchen, heard a loud explosion and her
husband screaming.
Finding him lying on the bathroom floor with his trousers blown away and burns
on his buttocks, legs and groin, she once again phoned for an
ambulance. The same
paramedic crew was dispatched.
As the paramedics carried the man down the stairs to the ambulance
they asked the
wife how he had come to burn himself. She told them. They started laughing so
hard, one slipped, the stretcher dumping the husband out. He fell down
the remaining
stairs, breaking his arm.
Still having a bad day? Just remember, it could be worse...
The average cost of rehabilitating a seal after the Exxon Valdez oil
spill in Alaska
was $80,000. At a special ceremony, two of the most expensively saved animals
were being released back into the wild amid cheers and applause from onlookers.
A minute later, in full view, a killer whale ate them both.
Still think you are having a bad day?
A woman came home to find her husband in the kitchen shaking frantically, almost
in a dancing frenzy, with some kind of wire running from his waist towards the
electric kettle. Intending to jolt him away from the deadly current, she whacked
him with a handy plank of wood, breaking his arm in two places. Up to
that moment,
he had been happily listening to his Walkman.
STILL think you 're having a bad day?
Two animal rights protesters were protesting at the cruelty of sending pigs to
a slaughterhouse in Bonn , Germany ..
Suddenly, all two thousand pigs broke loose and escaped through a broken fence,
stampeding madly. The two hapless protesters were trampled to death.
What?! STILL having a bad day??
Iraqi terrorist Khay Rahnajet didn't pay enough postage on a letter
bomb. It came
back with 'return to sender' stamped on it. Forgetting it was the
bomb, he opened
it and was blown to bits.
Hey, my day is going really well but just in case I'll say my prayers
in the morning

No comments:

Post a Comment